


Last of a Dying Breed

by idratherhaveyou



Category: Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Found Family, Freeing Slaves, Laurent plots, M/M, Space Opera
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-07-11
Packaged: 2019-10-28 13:40:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 24,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17788448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idratherhaveyou/pseuds/idratherhaveyou
Summary: Damen is captain of the ship The Guardian and he and his crew cover as a transport ship for the times when the law catches up to him or he isn't busy freeing slaves. On one such mission, he meets a slave who isn't really a slave, a man who has ulterior motives and who wants a space on Damen's crew. All Damen knows is that Laurent is desperate to find his brother. What he doesn't know could fill a book, but it's not the first time he's picked up and welcomed a stray.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I've always wanted to write this and haven't because I know nothing about space or spaceships or like....any of this. I decided to do it anyway. It's probably all bad and wrong and I don't even care. It's for me, goddammit. I need the practice at writing action. Like, all the practice.  
> That being said, I do hope some of you enjoy it. It's going to be a ball.  
> I don't have any sort of update schedule but I'm doing much better at this finding time for writing thing than I was. That being said, if you're not good at waiting, I'd just wait like a year until this is complete.  
> Anyway, I really meant it when I said I miss these boys. I'm taking them back and god, does it feel good.  
> For all of those who are still with me after all this time, I love you to fucking pieces and my goal is to actually do the answer comments thing this fic. I'm determined. I've been slacking lately.  
> <3333
> 
> Also! I wrote an original novel! You can find it [here](https://www.amazon.com/dp/1086458737?ref_=pe_3052080_397514860) if you're interested.

Damen knew that Nik was going to pull his gun out two seconds before he did, directing it at the Inuan slaver who’d plucked a human child from the slow, slogging line of slaves being loaded onto a cargo bearing ship, headed somewhere else in the galaxy.

Swearing silently, Damen weighed his options. The plan they’d put in place before they’d come here was no longer viable, which meant it was time to improvise. He could only hope that Jokaste would do the same. There wasn’t time to get a message to her. Given the screams and the shouted orders from the Inuan, it wouldn’t be a huge leap for her to make, whether she could see Nik or not.

The Inuan switched to common when Nik didn’t lower his gun and Damen sighed internally. The language wasn’t the issue. Nik being an idiot, however well-intentioned, was the issue.

The only solution, of course, was to be an idiot with him.

Abandoning his cover—a lowly grunt, who occasionally shoved slaves along—Damen pulled his own gun and shot the Inuan directly in the face, no hesitation. Jokaste would likely cuss him out afterwards, telling him all of the things he could’ve done to avoid an old fashioned shoot out, but those kind of things never occurred to him in the moment. Or in hindsight, really.

There were shouts in a language Damen couldn’t understand. Scanning his surroundings, Damen saw the other grunts—hired, like him—abandon their posts, more interested in their lives than in being paid. The Inuans guarding the doors of the cargo ship were already shooting, likely attracting the attention of any other Inuans in the complex.

And then there were the slaves. Some were cowering, some were taking this opportunity to attempt an escape, and some were trying to fight back with fists alone, tired of being mistreated, but they were all in danger and Damen had come here to save them, not clean up their bodies.

Ignoring his instinct to find cover, Damen ran for the cargo ship. Maybe one part of their plan could be salvaged.

For a moment, he was ignored, the chaos making it hard to recognize that he was the one who’d fired the first shot, but when he tried to board the cargo ship, an Inuan came at him, sword drawn. They were nasty—gave electric shocks—and entirely practical given the Inuans talent for wrapping people up with their tongues and drawing them closer.

Not interested in another being’s tongue touching him, Damen willingly closed the distance and grappled, relying on his brute strength to carry him through. The Inuan, fortunately, relied on the same thing, but it’s strength was not the match of Damen’s and the fight was short-lived, Damen slamming his head hard against the side of the ship and running inside.

All he saw was scared faces and he shoved down the need to reassure them, making for the back of the ship. Digging through his glorified fanny pack, Damen found what he was looking for. It was a small gadget that emitted a bright yellow light and could somehow cut through several inches of metal. How it worked, Damen had no idea and he didn’t care in the slightest. All that mattered was that it worked.

Leaning against a wall in what was supposed to be a bathroom, but was really just space to shove even more people, Damen carved a large hole. The far side of the cargo ship was hidden, as shadowed as a dark alley, and first in the line of many, many cargo ships. The one beside him, in theory, was ready to open its doors the second Damen gave the signal.

But Damen had no way to know for sure that Jord had made it inside.

If Nik hadn’t pulled his gun, there would’ve been time to find out.

Shaking his head, Damen scattered the thought, knowing there was no time for what-ifs. Shots were still sounding and where there were shots, there was blood.

Turning to those already in the ship, Damen projected his voice so they could all hear him. “I can get you all to safety, but I need your help. There are others out there who need to know they have a chance with me and I can’t convince them quickly enough. Not like you all could.”

A voice rose above the crowd. Searching for the face, Damen could barely see eyes through all the fur, but he knew this one was a fighter. “How can you save us? You’re with them.”

“There isn’t time. There was supposed to… it doesn’t matter. Either you believe me or you don’t, but if you follow me, I can help you.”

He’d done this so many times and just like always, there was no immediate movement, the hope too new, too hard to believe. Especially from someone who had just been shoving them along, blank-faced and unreachable.

That was when Jokaste showed up, slipping in so silently, no one noticed her except him and that was only because he would know her anywhere. Damen had no idea where she’d found the clothes all the slaves were wearing or the fresh bruise around her eye so quickly, but he’d never been more glad to see her in his life. Raising her voice, the feigned tremor so convincing, Damen had to fight down a smile, Jokaste said, “Can it get worse than this?”

Muttering broke out, but it was shattered by the sound of another gun shot, this one closer to the cargo ship than the others. Even though it was clear some people were confident it could get worse, the gun seemed to spur them along. Jokaste pulled another stunning performance out, flinching aggressively at the sound and slamming herself against the opposite wall, slowly edging her way towards Damen. Flicking her eyes towards the open door, an alarm now blaring, likely meaning more violence was to come, she said, “Well, I’m going,” and approached Damen, following his gesture towards the hole he’d created. With an unsure glance, she did as she was bid. Watching her progress, Damen crossed his fingers, hoping against all hope, then stepped out of the hole, pulled a piece of red fabric from his pack and waved it high in the air.

The door of the cargo ship beside them slid open.

Letting out a breath, Damen looked back and saw others pooling around the door, watching. When they saw Jokaste enter the ship, Jord ready and waiting with a blanket and a skein of water, they started muttering again. Holding back his words, but only barely, desperate to go back to whatever scene he’d left behind and save whoever and whatever he could, he managed to keep it to, “It’s safe. I promise.”

Gradually, a few began to pick their way across, keeping low and moving slowly. Nodding, satisfied that he’d done what he could and leaving the rest to Jord, Damen pushed his way back through and out of the cargo ship, into the chaos.

No more guns were firing. All of the Inoans were dead, but so were a number of the slaves. Nik was close by, holding a hand against his arm, unmoving. Following his gaze, surprised to see him so still, Damen’s eyes landed on a human man standing in the middle of a collection of Inoans and slaves. They were all dead, but he wasn’t. His slave’s garment was soaked in blood and Damen had no idea if it was his own or everyone else’s.

But that wasn’t what made the sight so uncomfortable. It was the way he stared at the bodies, the way he trailed his makeshift knife across a bare patch of his clothing, cleaning the blade, the way he pointed the blade at Nik and said, “Give me one good reason not to do the same to you.”

Nik blinked.

The other slaves did the same. When they saw Damen, they edged towards him. He might have been someone who was pushing them around earlier, but when they saw him, they saw their one chance at living. The Inoans cared that they lived. There was no money in dead slaves and they knew that.

Nodding, Damen waved them over, counting on the others to fill them in and get them where they needed to go. Then he turned his attention back to the man, who was waiting patiently for an answer, not a single emotion on his face.

Shrugging, Nik pointed his gun at the man. “Bet you can’t reach me before I fire.”

Rolling his eyes, Damen shouted, “Fucking hell, Nik, don’t you think you’ve waved that around enough? We need to go before more Inoans come.”

“Fine,” Nik said, stomping his way over. When he reached Damen, he nodded back at the man. “Are we bringing him?”

“Of course we are.”

“He _did_ just threaten to kill me.”

“And I’m sure he had a good reason.”

“Oh, fuck you,” Nik said good-naturedly. “I know you’d miss me.”

“I would. That doesn’t mean I’m not angry with you.”

“Damen, that fucking Inoan was going to…”

Raising a hand, Damen stopped Nik short. “We’ll talk about it later. We really need to go.”

Nodding, Nik headed into the cargo ship. Looking back to the man, Damen met the gaze of two sharp blue eyes, intelligent and ice cold. His head was cocked slightly to the side and he said, “Interesting.”

“Are you coming?” Damen asked. “I promise you’ll be safe.”

Walking towards him, more gracefully and assuredly than anyone covered in blood should walk, the man brushed past him. “Safe? Pray tell, where would that be?”

The way he said it didn’t leave an opportunity for argument. It completely threw Damen off. Silently, he followed, feeling as though this man had a better understanding of what was going on than even he did, but that didn’t seem even remotely possible.

There was nothing about him that added up and Damen wasn’t sure he wanted to work out the equation. Nik was right. This man was dangerous. Anyone who was in a place like this, was armed, and didn’t, for a moment, show a lick of fear, wasn’t meant to be there. No, that was the type of person who’d placed themselves there. Kind of like him and his crew, but different. Those bodies around him hadn’t been just Inoan.

They’d be free him of, though, once they escorted Jord and the cargo ship back to Earth, the only remaining safe haven for anyone human and the only place Damen had any kind of sway. And staring at his back, straight and confident, Damen couldn’t help but feel that was a very good thing.

 

When they boarded the ship, the last people to do so, Damen wound his way through the crowd and found Jord, Nik, and Jokaste. Jord had a pile of blankets in hand and was ready to cycle through, calming and comforting, but he was too busy listening to Jokaste, a worried frown on his face.

“What?” Damen asked, forgetting about everything else. “What happened?”

Jokaste sighed. “It’s Nicaise.”

“He’s not back,” Damen said.

Jokaste shook her head.

“He will be.”

Jord bit his lip. “Damen, he’s never late.”

“Well, in case you didn’t hear, the plan kind of blew up.”

“He’s just a kid.”

“I know,” Damen mumbled, feeling the usual wave of guilt wash over him. He hated putting Nicaise out there, but the boy was extremely talented and hacking and disabling whatever technology he came across.

The truth was, Damen didn’t know much about him or his life, but he knew that finding ways to free slaves without getting caught was the least dangerous thing that Nicaise had encountered in his life and that was why he allowed it. And because Nicaise had asked to be involved in a way that left only one answer.

“Kid or not,” Jokaste said, “we are stuck here if he doesn’t succeed and I for one would prefer not to be. We can’t wait much longer, Damen. If I’m going to get us out of here, it needs to be soon. Preferably now.”

“We wait.”

“You could kill all of us because of your principles.”

“We wait.”

Sighing, Jokaste crossed her arms over her chest. “Maybe we should send Nik to find him.”

“That’s a horrible idea,” Jord said.

“I second that,” Nik agreed.

“Yes, well, it’s your fault he isn’t here.”

“Let’s throw blame around once we’re out of this,” Damen said, shooting Jokaste a look. The tension didn’t leave the air, but arms were uncrossed and shoulders were lowered. Jord left to go hand out blankets, squeezing Nik’s arm as he passed. Nik wouldn’t look at anyone.

Damen was seconds away from telling Jokaste to do what she had to, when a hatch opened on the top of the ship and Nicaise dropped in. It scared everyone, but he seemed unconcerned. “We’re about to drop. Jord have this thing on?”

“Yeah.”

“Sweet.”

“You okay?”

Nicaise nodded and wandered off, likely to watch Jord pilot. Since Jord should probably be there for that, Damen met his eyes and nodded. Handing the blankets off to Nik, Jord went through the door to the cockpit.

Moments later, the floor of orbital base disappeared from under them and they were in space. Though there were no windows, Damen knew his ship was close and let relief finally seep into his bones. Everyone he loved was alive and Lazar was hopefully whipping up something to eat.

Behind him, there was a scream.

Swiveling, Damen saw that the man covered in blood had Nik pinned up against the wall, holding back whatever struggle Nik was attempting, and a knife at his throat. Swearing silently, Damen wished he’d thought to disarm him. But he’d been doing this a long time, and though there’d been slaves who’d managed to make themselves some sort of weapon, none were in the habit of using it here, too hopeful to screw up their chance.

Catching Damen’s eye, the man smiled easily. “This cargo ship isn’t yours.”

“No.”

“And we’re heading to your ship as we speak.”

Damen nodded.

“And how many of these unfortunates are going to end up there?”

Damen’s silence was answer enough. It was always an uncomfortable part of the travel. He wanted nothing more than to share his food and his ship with these people, who likely needed something nice after so long without, but there simply wasn’t space or resources to go around. It didn’t stop him from feeling terrible about it, though.

“I’d like to be on it.”

“I can’t afford favor to one and not others,” Damen said.

“I have a knife and they don’t.”

“That’s…”

“And this knife happens to be right over a very important vein in your friend’s neck.”

Damen was about to insist he wouldn’t when he remembered those bodies. It was now a question of intent and speed. But Damen paused too long and gave too much away. Tsking, the man pressed the knife tighter. “I wouldn’t try anything if I were you. It will take you precious seconds to reach me and I’m very good with my hands.”

“Not as good as I am, I bet,” Nik mumbled.

It had been a long day and Damen couldn’t put up with any of this much longer. “Fine,” he snapped. “Now get off Nik before I make you.”

The man did as he was asked, but didn’t stow his knife. “I think I’ll keep close to him,” he said, eyeing Nik. “Forgive me for not trusting you.”

“Whatever,” Damen grumbled, seeking Jokaste, who’d disappeared, likely to the cockpit as well. There was only so long she could suffer being dirty and unkempt. It was almost a guarantee that she’d gotten Jord to bring a fresh set of clothes for her. It was even more likely that Nicaise was busy braiding her hair. “Just don’t stab anyone and we’re good.”

The man nodded once. Damen made sure to keep just as close to him as he was keeping to Nik. Though his word was good, there was no telling what this man’s word was worth. Probably shit. He seemed that type of uncouth.

Glancing at him, Nik said, “Glad we brought him yet?”

“Oh shut up.”

“Sir, yes, sir.”

“I hate you.”

“I love you, too,” Nik said. Looking at the man, he said, “So what’s your name?”

The man flipped him off.

“Come on, asshole. You’ve threatened to kill me twice today. Surely I deserve that much.”

“No one likes listening to you talk as much as you do.”

“Damen does.”

“Don’t bring me into this,” Damen said.

There was a grating sound and then the whirring of the ship, the constant noise of working engines that brought Damen untold amounts of comfort, slowed, and Damen knew they’d arrived home. Smiling to himself, he waited and then the door to the cargo ship opened and Lazar peeked his head in. “Welcome back, losers. I made some food and put together some care packages and now I’m taking a nap.”

“Thanks, Lazar,” Damen said.

Waving a hand in acknowledgement, Lazar disappeared. Jord, Nicaise, and Jokaste appeared. Jord didn’t say a word, just boarded their ship and set to work handing out the care packages. He was going to be staying on this ship all the way to Earth. Damen didn’t envy him the job, but there was a reason Jord did it every time. No one had quite so much patience.

Jokaste took in the knife and Nik’s expression and rolled her eyes. “You could’ve gotten me, you know. I probably could’ve spared you from whatever you’ve agreed to.”

“Unlikely,” the man said.

Smiling, Jokaste stepped forward. “Oh, you’re something different, aren’t you?”

“Delighted, I’m sure. Care to show me around your ship?”

She laughed. “Oh, why not? Nicaise, come on. I think he’ll entertain you just as much as he’s already entertaining me.”

When Damen looked over to see what Nicaise would do, he was shocked to see that Nicaise was standing stock still, surprise etched into every line of his face, eyes locked on the man. Curious to see if there was a similar surprise on his face, Damen turned back around, but saw nothing. “Nicaise?” Damen asked.

“Why?” he whispered.

The man’s face didn’t change even a little. Curiously, he said, “Excuse me?”

Nicaise shook his head, as though he’d been mistaken, and simply said, “Coming,” to Jokaste.

“What was that?” Nik asked, when they disappeared.

“I have no idea.”

For the first time today, Nik looked properly concerned. It was a feeling he shared with Damen. For the five Earth months that Nicaise had been with them, nothing had ever shaken him like that. None of the death, none of the close run-ins with the law, none of the strange people they give lifts, and certainly not any of their freed slaves. It was hard not to feel like something big was starting, something he had no control over and that he’d unwittingly gotten his crew involved in.

Since there was no way to see the machinations behind it all so early, Damen let his thoughts drop and gestured for Nik to follow him aboard.

The moment he stepped on his ship, a tight coil unwound in Damen’s chest. Those clicks and whirs were his. The metal clacking under his feet was his. The rundown junkyard feel of the whole place was his. It was all his and it was all home.

Without a word, Nik followed him to the cockpit, which also doubled as Damen’s office for the times that he reluctantly did paperwork. There were only so many ways to keep the law off your back, especially when you were doing vaguely illegal things, but a huge one was paperwork.

Shutting the door behind them, Damen said, “Alright. Bathrooms seem fair?”

“You’re already having me streamline some of the core and I want to sleep.”

“I don’t really care.”

Sighing, Nik nodded. “I’m sorry, if it’s worth anything.”

Damen raised his eyebrows.

“Okay, I’m not. You know what they do with those kids they pull aside. We might not have had a chance to save her and I couldn’t just stand by and watch.”

“If Jokaste hadn’t taken over your job, we were all dead.”

“Maybe.”

“Go eat,” Damen said. “And then get started.”

“You should eat, too.”

“I will,” Damen said, ignoring the disbelieving look Nik shot his way. “But I have to go deal with the man who threatened his way onto my ship first.”

“Hey, if you shoot him out into space, can you page me?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Hell yeah,” Nik said. Then with a nod, he left Damen alone. He considered kicking off his shoes and getting comfortable in his chair, taking a respite, but he knew if he did, he wouldn’t get back up again. And since there was a real and present danger on his ship, that was unacceptable. If anyone here got hurt, it was his fault. Always.

Rubbing a hand over his face, he took a deep breath and set off. Paging Jokaste through a set of wristbands that doubled as their identification, Damen said, “Where are you?”

There was a brief crackle and then Jokaste replied, voice tinny. “Kitchen.”

Setting off, Damen tried to be relieved he was going to be able to snatch some food, but he was mostly nervous. The kitchen was the hub of the ship, the one place where everyone gathered, and there was a stranger in it, clouding and infecting the serenity it brought not only him, but every member of his crew.

When he entered, he noticed that what Lazar had left out for him were the space equivalent of dumplings. It meant they were running short on supplies and they’d have to make a stop soon. Lazar never thought to properly inform him, but luckily, Damen had long ago learned his patterns and could figure it out on his own. Spooning a few into his hand, he ate them quickly, some juice dribbling down his chin, which we wiped away with his sleeve.

“Surely you’ve heard of a plate?” the man said. “No need to be an animal.”

Feeling a spike of irritation, Damen looked at Jokaste. “Does he stop talking?”

She finished chewing and then said, “No, not yet. That would be counterproductive, I think.”

“Explain.”

“He’s trying to sow discord. I’m not entirely sure why yet.” The idea of not knowing seemed to delight her, the puzzle a fun exercise for her brain. Carefully, she set to work unbraiding her hair, keeping her gaze on the man, and then she said, “Well, I’m going to go shower. I suggest you come with me, Nik.”

“I am _not_ showering with you.”

She rolled her eyes, sashaying away. “You wish.”

“Please only ten minutes this time,” Damen shouted after her. “I’ll have to stop showering if you keep taking longer.”

“Oh, god, please only ten,” Nik said, chasing after her. “He’s natural ‘musk’ is disgusting.”

Spinning around, she smirked. “Oh, I can take twenty. Tell me when you and Jord stop sharing and I’ll go right back to my allotted ten.”

“I hate you.”

They continued bickering as they traveled down the hall, but Damen tuned it out, instead steeling himself for the conversation ahead of him. The man was watching him intently, a smile on his face, but one that did not meet his eyes. Those were blank. “Why are you trying to sow discord on my ship?”

“Who says I am?”

“You know who.”

Picking at his clothes, the man said, “I don’t suppose you have a change of clothes.”

“I might.”

The man smirked. Shrugging, he said, “Just testing the metal of your crew. I haven’t found it as lacking as I thought I would, which is interesting.”

“Nicaise knows you.”

“Does he?”

Sighing, Damen paged Nik. “Wanna find me some fresh clothes for our guest?”

“No.”

“Nik.”

“Already on it, boss,” Nik grumbled in reply.

“Back to my question.”

“I can’t speak for him,” the man said easily. “I don’t know him and that is all I can tell you. Oh dear, is that not the answer you wanted to hear?”

Deciding that this approach was not working and not sure there was one that would, Damen sat down on the stool beside Laurent and ate a few more dumplings. It was likely the man had already had his share, but Damen offered him some anyway. With slender flingers, the man plucked one up and popped it into his mouth, eyes never leaving Damen’s. “Anything you want to know?” he asked.

“Hasn’t anyone taught you how to run an interrogation?”

“Forgive me for trying to establish some trust.”

“I think trust is out of reach, don’t you?”

Damen shrugged. “Not necessarily. I’ll forgive the knife if you tell me what’s going on.”

“Oh, I meant for me. I don’t know you.”

“And I’m offering you the chance to do so.”

Humming in consideration, the man eventually said, “What will it take for you to let me stay?”

“Stay?”

“I have need of a crew.”

“For what?”

“Transportation.”

“To where?”

“That’s still unclear, I’m afraid,” the man replied.

“You’re not a slave.”

“And you’re not a slaver.”

Huffing in frustration, Damen felt his temper rising and he was unsure he would be able to tamp it down in time before saying something stupid, when there was a knock on the door and Nik peeked his head in. “Hey,” he said. Opening the door wider, he tossed some clothes towards the man, who caught them and began unfolding them, disgust in the line of his mouth. “Need anything else?”

“No. Thank you.”

Frowning at the man, Nik said, “Fuck you for looking at my clothes like that.”

“They’re hideous. How else would I look at them?”

Ready to respond, Nik was silenced with a look from Damen. He shut the door and left.

As Damen watched Laurent pick at loose threads on Nik’s clothes, he tried to figure out what he did need. Jokaste would have a long list, but she wasn’t here. Besides, she was not one for handing out chances, but Damen was. And if this man needed something from him, he was likely to be more accommodating than not. “How about your name?”

“Laurent.”

“Got a last name?”

“Probably.”

“Are you gonna be a danger to my crew, Laurent?”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Laurent replied.

Nothing about that was convincing, but Damen’s gut said that he almost meant it and he decided to trust that, genuinely wanting to help. Laurent appeared to be able to hold his own, but he was alone in a very big universe and Damen was pretty sure he’d been alone for a very long time.

Keeping that in mind, he only had one question left. “What were you doing in an Inoan slaving port? I know my presence was not part of your plan.”

“It is now.”

“Before plans changed, then.”

Nodding, Laurent took a moment to respond. When he did, the words came out at a normal speed, but Damen had the distinct impression he was being very cautious with them nonetheless. “Exactly what it looked like,” Laurent replied. “I was a slave being transported to a slave friendly planet.”

“Why?”

“There’s something I’m looking for.”

“Laurent, I’m going to need more.”

Standing and wandering around the kitchen, poking and prodding at things, Laurent started to talk. As he moved, Damen was finally able to see through the dirt and the rags and what he saw was steel in what was likely a beautiful package. “It was hard to be sure that you were the right person to hedge bets on, but being a freed slave does very little for me, so I had to make a choice. And my first perception was that you are a person who cares, a person who enjoys lost causes.”

“Why’s that?”

“No one spends their life freeing slaves if they don’t enjoy lost causes,” Laurent said. “It is an endless battle and most will end up right back where they were. It’s possible you’re stupid enough to not know that, but I’m choosing to pretend you’re not that idiotic, because it suits me better.”

“We do care,” Damen said, still not understanding at all why that mattered, but happy to stand by his compassion.

“Wrong. You do. Your crew does not.”

“Are you interrogating me?”

“You’ve only just discovered that?”

Tired of conversation like this, Damen said bluntly, “Why the fuck does it matter if I enjoy lost causes?”

“Because I’m looking for my brother. I don’t know where he is. He might be dead. But I’m looking for him, anyway.”

“Oh.”

“Is that enough?”

Damen nodded.

Pointing a finger at him, Laurent said, “Lost cause.” Then he moved towards the door of the kitchen. “I’ll get Jokaste to show me to a room. Happy to be aboard, captain.”

“Damen,” he mumbled, still reeling. Was he that obvious? Did he pick up that many strays?

“Damen,” Laurent acknowledged.

He was gone but Damen said, “Welcome to The Guardian,” anyway.


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like to call this chapter the one where no one stops talking  
> Thank you all so much for reading and for your comments and kudos. I'm so blessed.  
> I know this was a bit of a wait, but I'm really intensely trying to finish editing my original novel and that's taking up most of my free time. I managed to pound this out, though.  
> I hope you like it! <3

There was a knock on the door to his room and Damen willfully ignored it, instead throwing an arm under his head and focusing intently on his ceiling. Whoever was outside that door was not someone he wanted to see. By now, Jokaste would’ve informed everyone that Laurent was staying and that was likely to birth all kinds of complaint. They were a tight knit family. It was always difficult to introduce someone new.

But that was how they all had become members of his crew. Time and Damen’s unwavering faith.

He didn’t want to remind them of that fact, however. Nik, especially, didn’t like to be reminded.

There wasn’t another knock, but the door clicked open.

Only one person did that. And it was, surprisingly, someone Damen actually wanted to see. Sitting up, he gazed at Nicaise, who silently crossed the room and sat at the end of Damen’s bed. To say this was unusual was an understatement. Damen had no idea what to do. The last time they’d been alone like this, it was the day after Damen had picked Nicaise up from Earth and it had taken him fifteen minutes of silence to say ‘thank you’.

“Are you going to tell me what’s going on?” Damen asked eventually.

Nicaise shrugged petulantly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.

“Do me a favor and don’t make me out as stupid. If you don’t want to tell me, that’s fine, just say that you don’t want to tell me.”

“I don’t want to tell you.”

“Okay,” Damen sighed, leaving it at that. It hadn’t taken him long to discover that was the best way to handle Nicaise. Fundamentally, he was a boy who had to feel like he had independence and agency. So Damen did his best to make sure that one day, it wouldn’t be about feeling that way, it would be about knowing.

“Laurent’s going to kill all of us.”

“So you do know him.”

Nicaise didn’t answer that. Looking at Damen, he said, “I’m just telling you. I don’t give a shit what you do about it.”

“How could he possibly kill all of us?”

Shockingly, Nicaise laughed. “How could he not?”

“Nicaise… “

“That’s all I have to say.”

“I can’t do anything with that. If you want something to change, you’re going to have to talk to me.”

“I don’t want anything,” Nicaise said, slipping off the bed and heading for the door.

“If you say so.”

Turning back, Nicaise looked as though he was about to say something. When he closed his mouth, it wasn’t because he’d decided the comment was irrelevant, Damen knew it was because he was scared. Nicaise tried to disguise everything, every emotion, every thought—it was often taxing—but there apparently wasn’t enough practice in the universe for what he was trying to disguise. “What do you need me to do?” he asked, suddenly not caring what he’d promised Laurent. If Nicaise needed him gone, he would be. In a heartbeat.

“I know you need to help him,” Nicaise said. “You’re like that. I would say it’s insufferable, but it’s what allowed me to stay. Just… be careful. If you’re not, he’ll talk you into all sorts of things.”

“How well do you know him?”

Blinking, Nicaise whispered, “Better than I know you.” He lingered for a second, clearly waiting for something, but Damen didn’t now what to do or say. Nicaise’s response was so far from what he’d expected that he had to retrace a number of neural pathways before he could start down new ones. The rerouting took long enough for Nicaise to leave, the silence in his wake absolutely deafening.

 

Absentmindedly stirring his morning smash, a drink like coffee, but much less expensive and much more disgusting, Damen tried desperately to keep his eyes open. Last night’s sleep had been restless. Laurent was change that was going to need a whole lot of adjustment time, apparently.

Beside him, Nik was doing the same thing, except grumbling. Damen had tuned him out ages ago, because it was all about Laurent and Damen was struggling with his own doubts. The last thing he needed was Nik’s, too.

That was, of course, when Laurent strolled in, as though he owned the place, wearing clothes that Damen had never seen before, though they were likely from Jokaste who had a strange assemblage of clothes for various, largely nefarious purposes. It reminded him, once again, how thankful he was that she was on their side.

Nik glowered at him from behind his smash, then downed the whole thing, slamming it back down on the already ratty table. Almost positive he was going to have to tell Nik off, Damen sat up straighter. But Nik didn’t say a word to Laurent’s raised eyebrow. He turned to Damen. “Permission to take the shuttle?”

“For what?”

“It’s in everyone’s best interests if I’m with Jord right now.”

“Fair enough. See you at Earth?”

Nik nodded.

Laurent watched him leave and then took his seat, smiling pleasantly. While a bit of a shift from the day before, Damen was happy to grasp onto anything he could, any reason to convince himself that his decision to let Laurent stay hadn’t been a mistake.

It didn’t change that he was going to try to have another serious conversation with this man. And he was still very apprehensive about that.

Deciding to ease into it, he said, “Good morning. How did you sleep?”

“Adequately,” Laurent said, snatching some fruit from a bowl and taking a bite. “Tell me, what does one do around here? I’m terribly bored, already.”

Trying not to roll his eyes, Damen said, “Work, mostly. Nicaise and Nik are our engineers. They make sure this baby runs and stays running. Lazar cooks and occasionally cleans, though mostly I do that. And Jokaste takes care of literally everything else. Besides piloting. That’s also my job. But as long as all that gets done, I don’t care much what anyone does to fill their free time. We’ve only got the one shuttle, though, so if you wanna use it, call dibs and do it fast. And please, _please,_ don’t lie about what you’re using it for. I genuinely don’t care, but if someone gets in trouble, I like to be able to tell the right people the right things.”

“That’s all well and good, but what can I do?”

“I’d ask Jokaste. I’m sure she’s got all kinds of tasks.”

“Ah, a delegater.”

Rolling his eyes, Damen said, “I am captain. Don’t see why I shouldn’t get the benefits.”

Laurent hummed in response, keeping his eyes fixed on Damen until he finished his fruit. The eye contact didn’t falter, even as he sucked his fingers into his mouth to lick off the juice and Damen tried not to lean back, feeling a mix of apprehension and uncomfortable arousal. Then, abruptly, Laurent stood. “Well, I have no use for you. I suppose I’ll see you around.”

“Hey, woah, come back here.”

The corner of Laurent’s mouth quirked and he retook his seat. “Is there something you’d like?”

Damen blinked. His thoughts were a series of _what the fuck_ after _what the fuck_ after _what the fuck_. This felt a lot like gambling. Damen knew a few cards, thanks to Nicaise, but there were all kinds of unknowns and Laurent was playing like he had a winning hand, like he had winning hands for every round that was to follow, however impossible.

There were layers to every word spoken by this man and Damen hated layers. He hated tests, too, especially when the rules weren’t laid out in front of him.

Keeping his tone even, Damen said, “I’d like to know why Nicaise thinks you’re going to kill us.”

“There are delicate and nuanced ways to approach a question like that, you know.”

“Wonderful.”

“How have you survived out here?”

“Stop avoiding the question,” Damen said.

“You did not phrase that as a question. It was much more reminiscent of a demand.”

“Should I remind you that I can kick you off this ship whenever I’d like?”

Laurent smiled. “Oh, captain, my captain, I could do this all day long.”

“Why are you trying to get a rise out of me?”

“Is that what I’m doing?”

Digging deep into his well of patience, Damen stood and got himself more smash. “Would you like some?” he asked.

“No, thank you. That drink is revolting.”

“Just depends on what you grew up with.”

Crossing his arms over his chest, Laurent crossed his legs. “If you think fostering a weak illusion of trust is going to help you here, I’d be the first to inform you that you would be very wrong.”

“I was just offering you something to drink. It’s common decency.”

Laurent eyed him. Taking a sip of his smash, Damen let him, too tired to keep trying to pry answers out of a wall. The question was important, but they would arrive on Earth soon, and if he hadn’t gotten an answer by then, Laurent could easily be discarded. Stranding a person in space was one thing, but on a planet was another and Damen had no issue with that.

Besides, he had an inkling Laurent had been born and raised on Earth. Walt Whitman’s poetry was not a commonly referenced canon in space. Only those intimately wrapped up in human culture would have “O Captain! My Captain!” at their disposal.

It was a place Laurent would probably have somewhere to go.

The silence wore down some of Laurent’s composure. “Is that it? Are you giving up?”

“Sure.”

“How dull.”

“Sorry about that. Weren’t you leaving?”

“Yes,” Laurent said. “Thank you for stopping me. That was well worth my time.”

“Anytime.”

Laurent rose from his chair and headed out of the kitchen. Waiting a few seconds, just enough time to down the rest of his smash, Damen slapped his hands on his thighs, then stood, going after Laurent.

Catching up with him was easy. A couple of hallways passed before Laurent stopped and turned towards him and sighed. “You can’t be serious.”

“I trust Nicaise. I don’t trust you. And since you won’t tell me anything…”

“I thought you delegated.”

“I have a strong suspicion that you could shake everyone else.”

“There are easier ways to get me into a bed with you,” Laurent said.

“I’m not… I wasn’t going to… nobody is going to go into your room with you.”

“Good.”

Nodding slowly, Damen tailed Laurent all the way back to his room, where Laurent stepped inside, smiled angelically, then slammed it shut.

Groaning, Damen slammed his head against the side of the ship. So much for doing some laundry today.

All he could do now was get comfortable and hope that Laurent’s boredom would chase him out of his room before long.

 

How long it had been since he’d sat down, Damen had no idea. He’d counted panels, he’d come up with five separate projects for Nicaise and Nik to work on, he’d come up with several different bribes to get Lazar to give him a massage, and still, there was no noise from inside Laurent’s room, no sign at all that he was ready to stop behaving like a child.

A while later, Jokaste came by, a stack of forms in hand. “I thought I might find you here,” she said, sitting beside him and handing him papers crammed to the brim with words to sign.

“I should’ve just left him.”

“I would’ve.”

“Yeah,” Damen sighed, flipping to the next pointless form. The larger their galaxy had gotten, the larger the bureaucracy. “You’d think they could go digital with these.”

“They have. I just prefer paper.”

“My hand doesn’t.”

“Don’t whine at the person who makes sure you aren’t signing away your freedom, rights, and ship.”

“Sorry. It’s already been a long day.”

Jokaste laughed. “He is difficult, isn’t he?”

“I want to kill him.”

“I quite enjoy him.”

“Go figure. Have _you_ gotten anything out of him?”

“Oh, heavens, no. And there’s no way I will. In no universe would he trust me. We’re far too similar.”

“I’ve noticed,” Damen grumbled. “Problem is, I don’t trust him like I trust you.”

“He wants to save his brother, yes?”

“Yeah.”

“Trust that.”

“What does that mean?”

Jokaste smiled, tucking a strand of hair loose from her braid behind her ear. “He told you what he wants. Well, one thing he wants. I promise you, that was a very valuable piece of information to him and not one he wanted to share, but he balanced the pros and cons and decided you were his best shot at achieving the end. I’m suggesting you do whatever you can to keep that status. Or be very well out of his way when you no longer are.”

“Why?”

“Because I doubt he cares about collateral.”

“See? You know plenty.”

At that, Jokaste laughed loudly and it did not inspire the same in Damen. In fact, it snarled up his gut as completely as Nicaise had this morning. “I know the same amount you do, Damen. Which is nothing. We don’t know why his brother is missing. We don’t know where he came from, what he’s running from, or why he was hiding out in a group of slaves. It could be less dangerous than it feels, but I doubt it.”

“So I should dump him when we get to Earth is what you’re saying.”

Shrugging, Jokaste snagged the papers from his hands and stood. “You’re the captain. It’s up to you.”

“What would you do?”

“I would find his brother. It sounds terribly fun.”

“Forget I asked.”

“I already had.”

Putting his head in his hands, Damen tried to not think at all. Thinking wasn’t helping. If he could move, he’d go back to his room and have a stiff drink. Maybe two.

But he was stuck here, guarding the door of a man who was entirely his problem. One who was intelligent, vexing, far too attractive for his own good, and impossibly infuriating.

“Fuck,” Damen mumbled, scrubbing his face. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

Beside him, the door opened. “Show me your favorite place on this wreck.”

Looking over, Damen saw Laurent, blue eyes far more curious than they should be. “Eavesdropping?”

“You didn’t have to talk so close to my door. Or so loudly. It, at least, kept me entertained. Now, are you going to show me your favorite place or not?”

“You called my baby a wreck.”

Laurent rolled his eyes. “I would like to see your favorite place. If you take me, I’ll let you ask me one question. Whatever you would like. And I will answer as honestly as I can.”

“Why?”

“Is that your question?”

Damen shook his head. Standing, he gestured for Laurent to proceed him. With a glare, Laurent did as he was asked, turning when Damen told him to turn.

Before long, they were at the front edge of the ship, far away from the core, from rooms, from the engine, from everything. Or as far away as was possible on a small ship.

It was more a hallway than anything else and it wasn’t a secret place. Everyone knew exactly where this particular window was, because it was the best on the ship. Nik and him often came here to drink after particularly difficult missions. Nicaise was here all the time and Damen was actually genuinely surprised that he wasn’t here now. It was rare when he started work this early in the day. But he was always awake. Damen wasn’t convinced that Nicaise ever slept, actually.

There were two chairs set up, different colors, random and often ugly patches of fabric sewn into places that had torn open. One was comfy and the other was not. But they were chairs Damen was fond of, anyway. They’d been payment from a passenger named Erasmus, who had, without being asked, set up a number of homier touches around the ship.

Taking the uncomfortable one, Damen offered the other to Laurent.

Thousands and thousands of stars were spread before them, endless and startlingly bright. It was as beautiful as always and Damen let it sink into him, the sublimity of it all, and the hard pressure on his chest lightened. He’d been among these stars and on this ship for most of his life. This was his home base. He had the leverage, he had support, and he had the power to make the ultimate decision.

The man beside him had practically nothing.

And, yet, that wasn’t what it felt like. Maybe that was why Damen was so scared.

“One question,” Laurent said calmly.

There were so many he had to ask, but he knew there were right and wrong ones. So it was a long time before he spoke, because he refused to pick the wrong one. Who knew when he’d get another opportunity like this and wasting a question was not an option.

It was difficult, but eventually, Damen asked, “Why doesn’t Nicaise trust you?”

“That was not a well phrased question.”

“Do you want me to try again?”

“No. Forgive me. I… underestimated the sway you held with Nicaise. When I knew him, he would never have shared the information with you that he did. He wouldn’t have shared that information with anyone.”

“You were counting on the information about your brother being enough to keep me from asking too many questions.”

“Precisely.”

“So?” Damen asked.

“It’s not that he doesn’t trust me,” Laurent said. That was when some of his composure cracked away, his voice lowering. “Though, I suppose he no longer does. We don’t know each other anymore. That’s become apparent to me.”

“He thinks you’re going to kill us.”

“I am not going to kill you or your crew. That would be counterproductive. Besides, I don’t take your generosity lightly. As long as I’m in your debt for the shelter and the transport, I will do whatever I can to keep you and your crew safe.”

“Why?”

Laurent shrugged lazily, all vulnerability gone. Damen had used his one question and apparently, Laurent had meant what he’d said. That was all Damen was going to get. Slumping into the chair, Damen spoke into his comm. “Can someone bring two drinks to the window?”

Lazar answered. “You have legs, don’t you, Cap?”

“Don’t I pay you?”

“Harsh. I thought we were family.”

“I’m a little too tired for games today, Lazar.”

“Yeah, yeah, I hear you. I’ll be there in a sec.”

When Damen glanced over at Laurent, the most peculiar expression was on his face. Entirely unreadable, but definitely an emotion and Damen hadn’t been entirely sure Laurent had those. “What?” Damen asked.

“How long have you been together as a crew?”

“All together?” Damen racked his brain. “Uh, two years now? I think? Nik’s been with me since the start and Nicaise was the most recent addition. It’s not the most glamorous life so I’m surprised they’ve stuck with me as long as they have. Especially Lazar and Jokaste. They weren’t really built for this kind of life I don’t think.”

“A real mystery.”

“That sounded like sarcasm.”

Laurent’s eyes remained fixed on the stars. “Could’ve been,” he replied. “I’m not entirely sure.”

 

Two days passed in relative silence. Damen worked and contemplated or took a shift watching Laurent, though he mostly stayed in his room or wandered the ship idly, chatting with whoever was keeping tabs on him. They all came to complain to Damen after, but to their credit, not a single one deserted Laurent.

When they arrived on Earth, Nik was the first one to tell him that the transfer of slaves had gone smoothly. He and Jord were quietly selling the cargo ship they’d stolen, but then they would all meet back up, preferably at one of their favorite bars near the ship yard.

Jokaste was already off ship, running some errands, and Damen was busy trying to decide what to do with Laurent. Keep him or ditch him.

It was a debate that Laurent ended for him, when he suggested they at least get off ship, get some fresh air, maybe buy some coffee.

“I am not stepping foot on Earth,” Laurent said firmly.

“I’m pretty sure you were born and raised here. So don’t give me that. Isn’t there family you want to see?”

“No. I would like to stay right here.”

“Are you always so contrary?”

“Tell me, is Nicaise off ship?”

“No,” Damen replied slowly. “He doesn’t usually leave, not when… not when we’re on Earth.”

“Interesting.”

“Why is there always something going on when there shouldn’t be?”

“It is in my nature to constantly complicate things, I’m afraid.”

Sighing, Damen shut The Guardian’s door, understanding that he wasn’t going anywhere. Not until he’d come to a firm decision, anyway.

Usually, he didn’t waver this much. Being a captain wasn’t easy, but usually he could see the right answer and the wrong answer and however difficult, he always picked the right one. But this, this was complex. This wasn’t the black and white he was used to. This man needed help. He was alone and had nothing to his name and that was exactly the kind of person Damen helped. But he also presented a very real danger to his crew, though Laurent had promised to protect them. Damen just wasn’t sure how far that promise extended.

Swallowing hard, Damen said, “You have to go, Laurent. I’m sorry that you don’t like Earth, but I don’t know why. All I know is that my crew comes first and nothing you’ve said has convinced me that Nicaise is wrong about you.”

Laurent swore softly, crossing the room and stopping right in front of Damen. “I don’t trust you. I don’t trust your motivations, because I have not met a person in my life who has motivations like you profess to have. I think they’re simply disguises, hiding other motives. But I understand you love your crew and would protect them with your life. So here is what I will tell you. There is more going on than you could possibly understand. The fact of my presence on this ship does put you in danger, but not any more than you were already in. You free slaves. However low of a profile you think you are keeping, you aren’t. People know you exist and some of them are out to end you. Those same people are out to find me. You found me in a shipment of slaves because they were headed to a planet I suspected my brother might be located and because I knew it was the best place for me to hide. Slaves to do not draw attention and the people looking for me would not think to look there. They would think it beneath me. Or rather, that I would find it beneath myself.

“But then you came and all of that was ruined and I knew I had to talk my way onto your ship, because the last place I could end up was Earth.”

“Why?” Damen whispered.

“Because the man who is after me, who made my brother disappear, who introduced me to Nicaise, lives here.”

“But… wait, I’m sorry, this man is after me, too?”

Laurent was about to talk when Nicaise showed up at the edge of the room, wariness etched into every inch of his face. “He doesn’t know I’m here, Laurent. Why would he be after Damen?”

“You were so young. I forget.”

“Don’t talk to me like that.”

Smiling, almost gently, Laurent said, “I’m sorry. I just meant that you wouldn’t have understood what you saw, not really. You only understood that you had to get out, am I right?”

“He was…”

“I know.”

Nicaise nodded slowly and Laurent sighed. Gesturing towards Damen, he asked Nicaise, “Is he really as he seems?”

“Yeah.”

“Shit.”

“He’s really…”

Laurent waved whatever Nicaise was going to say away. Damen was so lost that he’d given up on trying to understand, instead just absorbing the words in case he ever got context someday and could piece together the clues. As Laurent contemplated what to do next, all the attention was fixated on him. Damen was amazed at how easily he could command a room.

When he strolled to Nicaise, Damen tensed, ready to leap forward and defend Nicaise if necessary, but all Laurent did was whisper something to him. Nicaise’s mouth moved in response and while Damen was desperate to hear, he decided to trust Nicaise. Laurent seemed to think Nicaise trusted him and Laurent hadn’t been wrong yet about a single one of his assumptions.

The two of them nodded and Damen said, “Care to explain?”

“I’ve got nothing to say,” Nicaise said, leaving the room.

“Laurent?”

“It’s in your best interest if you don’t know.”

“Bullshit. You’re going to…”

Damen was interrupted by furious knocking on the door. Opening it, Damen saw Jord and Nik, both gasping for breath, but not pausing to explain as they rushed inside, firmly closing the door behind them. “Please tell me Jokaste is here,” Nik said.

“She’s not.”

“Fuck,” Jord murmured. “I’m gonna go find her. And then we are getting out of here.”

“What the hell is going on?” Damen shouted, finally losing patience. “Someone better start fucking explaining right now.”

“I don’t know,” Nik said quietly. “But it’s partially my fault, I think. I was asking around about our friend Laurent, here. I wanted to see if anyone knew anything, if he was trustworthy, and not long after, Jord and I had a tail. We barely shook them and they did not look friendly.”

Damen hadn’t even heard Laurent walk over to them, but suddenly he was there, directly in Nik’s face. Face deadly still, he whispered, “Did you say my name?”

Nik nodded.

“Aren’t you fantastically stupid?”

“Hey,” Damen snapped. “Maybe if you’d told us anything at all, we could’ve avoided this. Don’t take your shit out on Nik.”

“We need to go,” Laurent said.

“We can’t leave without Jokaste and Jord.”

Considering that, Laurent walked away, headed somewhere, and Damen snapped at Nik. “Follow him. Make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid.”

“Why do I have to do it?”

“Now.”

Nodding with purpose, Nik ran away after Laurent. Once they were both gone, most of the tension went with them, but Nicaise still looked spooked and Damen went to him. “I know Laurent isn’t going to tell me anything and that you don’t want to, but we’re in this now and you are someone I will protect with my life. Can you help me out? Please?”

Instead of speaking, Nicaise crashed into his chest and hugged Damen hard. The loss of breath was more from the surprise than anything else. “There’s a man,” he mumbled. “A bad man. He’s got lots of money and power and I used to live with him.”

“Laurent too?”

Nicaise nodded.

“But he doesn’t know you’re here?”

“Laurent helped me fake my death. So probably not.”

“Excuse me?”

“I don’t know what Laurent knows. I’m sorry. I just know that if he knows Laurent is here, we really do need to leave, or you are all about to die.”

“That isn’t going to happen,” Damen whispered, hugging Nicaise tighter. “I promise.”

“I don’t have anywhere else to go,” Nicaise said, voice wavering. “This is my home.”

“I know. It’s mine, too.”

The sound of the door opening disrupted their hug, both breaking apart and turning to watch. Damen’s heart was racing and very gently, he pushed Nicaise behind him and Nicaise, back to himself, slapped Damen’s hand away petulantly. But it was just Jokaste and Jord. When Damen caught Jokaste’s eye, she waved a finger over her head in a circular motion and Damen nodded, running to the pilot’s room. It was time to take off.

Damen was glad as he pressed buttons and set courses that he’d lots of practice at flying through high pressure situations, because otherwise, this would’ve been a lot harder. There was a noise behind him and he whipped his head around to see Jokaste. She was leaning against the wall, hair undone.

“What?” Damen asked.

“Nik wasn’t the only one checking up on Laurent,” she said. “I’m just a lot smarter about it.”

“And?”

“I can’t tell you.”

“Why the hell not?” Damen asked, slamming buttons and screens much harder than he needed to, but the energy had to go somewhere.

“Because you will turn around and we cannot do that.”

“Does it look like I plan on turning around?”

Jokaste sighed and ran a hand through her hair, the blonde waves rippling. “You have to promise me you won’t.”

“I am the captain and I am ordering you to tell me.”

“Damen.”

“Fuck, I promise, okay?”

Nodding, she said, “In less than a day, all of those slaves we freed will be slaves again.”

“How? Earth is an anti-slave planet. It’s protected. Anyone who does what we do takes them there.”

“And wouldn’t it be a fantastic place to make a ton of money if you knew exactly how to play it?” Jokaste said.

“What are you saying?”

“It’s all a cover. The removals of tattoos, the free housing until more permanent housing is found, the job assistance, all of it. Someone has a hold on each and every part and all the slaves who have no idea what to do and nowhere to go, which is most, goes through the system. This someone is also using all that money to pay off all sorts of people, have them turn an eye. This someone also knows Laurent and I suspect Nicaise, because I was led to the same place each and every time their names came up.”

“And where was that?”

Jokaste’s eyes darkened. “A brothel.”


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got more, folks. This chapter is what last chapter was kind of supposed to be before I got carried away.  
> I sincerely hope you like it.  
> Thank you, as always. I love you all so very much and I should be updating more frequently now. I've finally finished my novel and I've placed it in the hands of someone else for formatting, so now they're doing all the work.  
> Enjoy! <3

Gripping the edges of the console tight, Damen said, “Are you insinuating what I think you’re insinuating?”

“Damen,” Jokaste replied flatly.

“No.”

“Damen, I need you to stop and think for a moment. Please. All of us will be in grave danger if you turn this ship around. They know what to look for now and they will shoot us from the sky.”

“I can’t leave them to such a fate.”

“Too bad.”

“If we’re careful, if we…”

Walking forward, she laid a hand on his arm, grip gentle. Leaning over so she could meet his eyes, she whispered, “You promised me.”

Closing his eyes, Damen felt the heat in his chest grow and expand until his body was nothing more than a bomb on the verge of exploding. Slamming his hand into the console, hard enough to break bone—though, he was pretty sure he hadn’t yet—Damen swore. Jokaste backed away. “I’ll leave you,” she said.

The second she was gone, he deflated, cradling his hand against his chest. Slumping down into his chair, he tried not to think of all the years and all of the people. All along he thought he’d been saving them and all along he’d been sentencing them to a fate worse than the one they’d already been dealt.

Briefly, he allowed himself to marvel at the brilliance of the mind that had come up with prostitution as a cover. It was also illegal on Earth, but unlike slavery—for most people, an instant call to the proper authorities—it was an institution enjoyed by rich men and women who, with the right incentive, could make anyone disappear. And, inexplicably—to Damen, anyway—their favorite incentive was the right to fuck whoever they wanted whenever they wanted. It was the most well-known secret of the planet.

Then, darkly, he realized that he was going to have to get used to a life without coffee, because it seemed he wasn’t destined to return to Earth anytime soon.

But he would. Someday. As long as he was alive and breathing, he would be working to return, to see those people truly and properly freed.

There was a rap on the door, quiet and perfunctory.

It would be an understatement to say he had no interest in talking to another person, but he was captain and, judging by the knock, it was Jord. If there was anyone on this ship who was the least likely to piss him off, it was Jord.

Gathering himself, he said, “Come in.”

In stepped Laurent and, viscerally, Damen reacted. This was the last person he’d expected to see. After Laurent had gone to do whatever he felt necessary, Damen was fifty-fifty that Laurent would shake Nik and leave and one hundred percent that Laurent was going to close up tight, like a night-blooming flower in sunlight, if he stayed.

Seeking Damen was out was… not right.

As they stood and watched each other, Damen was suddenly and uncomfortably aware how little he knew about Laurent. How little he could predict. What had happened today was monumental. There was no way it hadn’t forced Laurent’s hand somehow.

Looking at Laurent, pretty, pale, and lithe—possibly underfed—it was hard to imagine that he presented any real danger to Damen’s life. But whatever Laurent was embroiled in was definitely dangerous, of the deadly variety, and it was impossible not to wonder why he was here of all places, at this moment.

Emotional shock still wracking his mind, Damen laughed. It wouldn’t surprise him if Laurent was the type to knock before committing murder.

“You find something funny?” Laurent asked, not approaching. Instead, he leaned on the wall beside the door and crossed his arms over his chest.

“You.”

“How’s that exactly?”

“I just really don’t get you.”

Laurent shrugged. “The feeling is mutual.”

“Why are you here?” Damen asked.

“Jokaste seemed harried. Unusual for someone like her. I came to make sure her advice stuck.”

“It stuck,” Damen said flatly.

“I hope you don’t mind if I stay and ensure that, then,” Laurent said, pushing himself from the wall and strolling over, not asking before he sat down in the pilot’s chair. Lazily, he inspected the console. Damen was prepared to slap his hand away, but Laurent made no move to touch anything. “Is there somewhere you’d like to go?”

“Nothing in mind, but I suspect there’s somewhere you want to go.”

“There is a whole universe,” Laurent said.

“Galaxy. This ship isn’t built for much else.”

“Strange, isn’t it? The idea of a galaxy being small.”

“Are you okay?” Damen asked firmly. He wasn’t sure he cared, happier to blame Laurent for this whole ordeal than he’d like to be, but that wasn’t how to build a crew. Best to ask and ask until he did care.

“Okay?” Quietly, Laurent laughed. “Why not? Okay sounds as good as anything else.”

“That is what okay people typically say.”

Finally looking up at Damen, Laurent raised an eyebrow. “You do realize that was sarcasm, right?”

Rolling his eyes, Damen said, “I’m not going to turn the ship around. I promised Jokaste I wouldn’t, so that’s that. You, however, are the kind of exhausting I can’t handle right now. So, congratulations, you’ve forced me out of my own office.” Turning, he headed for the door.

“Wait,” Laurent said softly.

Damen halted without thought. Though his command had hardly cleared the hums and whirs of the ship, the indecision was obvious in his tone. It was the first time he’d heard anything of the kind from Laurent. This was a man who’d spent nigh two weeks controlling whatever aspect of the crew and ship he could, every play perfect and reeking with arrogance. Damen didn’t like to think of himself as helpless but that had been his life since Laurent had boarded his ship.

To hear the indecision was to hear his feelings echoed.

Pivoting slowly, Damen said, “Something to say?”

Laurent was looking out at the stars. His body was absolutely still and for a moment, Damen was unsure that Laurent had heard him. But then Laurent stood, bright blue eyes piercing into Damen. The image in Damen’s head was that of a block of ice. Unyielding without fire. With fire, achingly slow, but possible to breach.

“I’m not sure you understand much of what happened. I am, frankly, unsure of your intelligence and the presence of it, but I am still positive you understand enough. Which means I have a question.”

“Just one?”

A thin smile graced Laurent’s face. “My, you are on a roll.”

“I’m having a bad day and you’re making it worse.”

“Than I will be brief. Why am I still here?”

“What?”

“There were pieces I had in control, information I spoke to the right ears, and I wasn’t concerned about my place on this ship. But, to say today was… unfortunate would be kind. I made a mistake, one I have made many times in my life, but not with a consequence quite as damaging as this one.”

“This is you being brief?” Damen sighed, running a hand over his face.

“Shall I dumb it down for you?”

“Please.”

“Whether I am here or not, you are in danger. But my presence places you in the sort of danger that is as inescapable as a black hole. You, surely, have realized that much.”

“Danger is danger is danger.”

Laurent tilted his head. “That’s your answer? Degrees of danger don’t phase you?”

“Answer me something and I’ll answer you.”

“Alright.”

“What was your mistake?”

“I didn’t choose,” Laurent said bluntly, nothing obvious in his body language indicating that he was shying away from the fact. There was something in the set of his mouth, though, and the tenseness of his shoulders that made Damen think he was holding back. That Damen wasn’t going to be the only with a sore hand by the end of the day. “I didn’t break away from you and I didn’t trust you to have my back. I tried to have it both ways.” Laurent laughed again. “You think I’d have learned by now.”

“Learned what?”

“Hope is for the foolish.”

“Hope?”

“I do believe you owe me an answer,” Laurent said in typical Laurent fashion.

“You’re here because you’re alone and you have nothing. Because you know Nicaise and since you’ve arrived, he’s been focused on nothing else, and because I think that, at one point, you were more to each other than acquaintances. I don’t want to be the person who takes more family away from you. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.”

“Seems like you’re already struggling with that. If degrees of danger are nothing, what are degrees of self-hatred?”

Smiling properly, Damen said, “Everything.”

For a long time, Laurent considered that. “Thank you,” he said finally.

“Was that difficult for you?”

Succinctly, Laurent flipped Damen off. It was obvious the conversation was largely over for him and though Damen wanted so badly to know where they were supposed to go from here, he was happy to let Laurent go for today. Today was for rest and recovery. Tomorrow, they could parse out their next action.

Before he left, though, Laurent said, “Tell me one more thing.”

“Sure.”

“If I wanted to pick where we go, would you let me?”

“I don’t know. Are you going to stay?”

“For now.”

Damen nodded. “You can’t have it both ways, right? Does that mean you’ve decided to trust me to have your back?

Shoving past Damen, Laurent said, “I don’t particularly like the questions you ask.”

Grabbing his arm, Damen stopped him. “Have breakfast with me tomorrow.”

“You are vastly misjudging this conversation.”

“Not like that. Talk to me. Let’s get to know each other. Build a base to build something like trust on. Then, yes, I will let you tell me where to fly this ship.”

“Breakfast.”

“Yes.”

“I was under the impression you didn’t like me.”

“I don’t,” Damen said, dropping Laurent’s arm. “But I could be wrong about you.”

“You could, could you?”

“I can’t predict you. That’s enough doubt for me.”

“You’re an idiot,” Laurent sighed.

“You could be wrong about me, too, you know.”

Laurent didn’t grace that with a response. Arm free, he didn’t hesitate to leave as he’d intended. Though he was as graceful as ever, gait loping, head held high, Damen could tell he’d shaken Laurent. He’d paused at the door, oh so briefly, as though reaffixing a mask before going back out into society.

 

It took over a half hour of wandering the ship for Damen to find Nik and Jord. They had removed a panel from the wall and were lying back inside the ship, wires surrounding them. If Nik hadn’t known exactly where to put them back once pulled out, Damen would’ve harangued them all the way back to their room. But, as it was, he couldn’t stop them.

Nik, especially liked to do it. He liked the sounds and the tightness of the space, something Damen always found incredibly claustrophobic. Jord was of a similar opinion, but there was little he wouldn’t endure for Nik. Which was good, because Nik was often an idiot of epic proportions. There was a lot to endure.

Peeking his head in, Damen said, “Hey, I was thinking we could all get wasted tonight. Play some games. Curse Laurent for existing.”

“I’ll take part in that last one,” Nik grumbled, blowing a lock of his hair out of his eye. Within seconds, it fell back into place and he blew again. Eventually, Jord pushed it out of the way, staring at the wires he had to weave through with intense wariness.

“We’ll be there,” Jord said with a smile.

“Babe, we’re mad at Damen. Try harder.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, are you going to tell Laurent to leave?”

“Pretty sure it’s your job, boss.”

“Well, he’s staying,” Damen sighed. Bolting up and pulling wires from sockets, Nik stared at him in outrage.

Without diverting his gaze, he started fixing the damage he’d done, as though there’d been no danger of circuits blowing. Probably. Damen had no idea what could happen.

Jord settled a hand on Nik’s shoulder and though he didn’t shake it off, it didn’t deter him. “Are you fucking serious?” he shouted.

“I know you like to test me, Nik, but don’t. Not this time.”

“We almost _died_ because of him.”

“No. That was because of you. You know to leave the gathering of information to Jokaste.”

“Fuck you,” Nik said. It had been a long time since he’d said it with genuine feeling and it cut Damen to his core. “You can’t save people from themselves, Damen. You can’t change them, make them into better people, or transform them into someone like you. And I don’t care if he looks like a mix of a Grecian god and a Travian, he isn’t going to fuck you.”

Taking a step back, Damen said, “That’s not… he isn’t my type.”

“Isn’t your type? Fucking hell, man, you need help. I get that space is lonely, sometimes, but our lives are not worth the chance to sate your libido.”

“Nik,” Jord said. “Shut up.”

“No.”

“That isn’t what this is about,” Damen said quietly. “And I wish you thought better of me.”

That seemed to get through to Nik and he floundered for words, looking at Damen pleadingly. There was nothing to say, though, and Damen said, “I thought we could start in an hour.” Then he left, in search of what, he didn’t know. There was no one else he wanted to see and nothing else he wanted to do. The comfort of his family was all he desired, but they all seemed to hate him right now.

It was the price of being captain. Sometimes, Damen wished he didn’t have to pay it.

 

Everyone besides Laurent showed up to the makeshift game night, some with greater reluctance than others. Jord practically dragged Nik in, shooting a Damen a small smile to reduce the blow from Nik’s outright glare.

The truth was, though, they all needed each other in the same way.

Cheap alcohol started flowing, Nicaise attempting a concentrated effort to get himself some. When it didn’t work, he started flitting around the edges of the gathering and grabbing unattended cups when he thought the person was unsuspecting. Each time, he got caught. They were all far too attuned to sources of possible danger in their line of work for it to succeed.

Eventually, he settled on the seat beside Damen and pouted magnificently.

They started with Chinese Checkers, the only game they’d managed to swindle of off Earth, but that quickly ended when Nicaise realized he wasn’t going to win and flipped the board with a cat-like grin.

As they brainstormed other ideas, Jokaste turned off the lights and lit candles.

“What about a good old fashioned game of Truth or Dare?” Nik said, staring at Damen.

“I’m going to pick dare every time,” Damen said, knowing exactly what Nik was doing. “It’s not going to work out like you think it will.”

“Perfect. I’ll dare you to go flirt with him. Then you can see what a bad idea it is.”

“I’m not trying to fuck him!”

“What the hell?” Nicaise asked.

“Don’t worry about it, darling,” Jokaste said, shaking a match out and coming up behind Nicaise to give him a kiss on the top of the head. “Eventually they’ll be drunk enough to brawl it out and then we won’t have to listen to them anymore. I would also like to suggest,” she continued, eyeing all of them, “that we play something else.”

“Please,” Jord said mildly.

Slowly, Nicaise shook his head. “Let’s play. It could be interesting.”

Jokaste smiled. “Careful, love, you starting to sound like me. I’ll have to answer to Damen if I influence you too much.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Stop being so adorable, then.”

“I hate you.”

Laughing, Jokaste went to each person and kissed them as well. “I rather think I’m off to bed. It’s been a long day and unlike Jord, I’m not in love with any of you and honor bound to stay. Please don’t wreck anything I’ll have to fix in the morning. I deserve a bit of leisure.”

“Night, Jokaste,” Damen said with a grumble, taking another swig of alcohol, wincing as it burned down his throat. He really needed to find an alien brew he liked, because this stuff was abysmal. Less abysmal now, though.

“I pick dare,” Nicaise said.

“You’re a baby. It’s not fun,” Nik grumbled.

Rolling his eyes, Jord said, “Take Damen and Nik’s drinks and spill both all over yourself.”

Shrugging, Nicaise stood and reached for Damen’s drink. Cradling it against his chest, Damen resisted, until Nicaise gave him a pair of entirely unfair puppy dog eyes. Not once before had Nicaise used those and Damen smiled, wondering just what else he would learn about the boy now that they seemed to be at a new level of trust.

Nik’s was more difficult to get, but eventually, Nicaise just slapped him hard on the face and snagged the drink while Nik tried to recover from the shock. “Hey!” he shouted. “Why the hell is everyone after me today? My best friend, ruining our lives over a pretty asshole, my boyfriend trying to prevent me from getting properly drunk, and this little twerp slapping me in the face.” Looking towards the ceiling of this ship, Nik raised his hands and shook them defiantly. “What did I do universe? Tell me.”

“You’re being dramatic,” Jord sighed.

“Get me more alcohol, babe.”

“Nope.”

Scowling, Nik slumped down into his chair. “Fine. I pick dare, too.”

“Nicaise,” Damen said, staring him down. “Do not drink those.”

“You weren’t supposed to be watching.”

“Well, I am.”

“You’re such a dad.”

Grinning, Damen said, “Dad?”

“It was a joke,” Nicaise said flatly. “Don’t make me stab that look off your face.”

“Everyone is far too stabby,” Jord said. “Maybe we should go to bed.”

Looking back at Nik, Damen said, “I dare you to stop and use your goddamn brain for a moment, see if you can work out why I might make the decision I made.”

“I don’t want to use my brain!”

“I just dared you!”

“That isn’t even a dare. You’re horrible at this game.”

“God,” Nicaise said, tossing the cups to the floor. “You two are the worst. I’m going to bed, too.”

“Don’t leave,” Jord whined.

Nicaise shrugged, not looking back.

Sighing, Jord tugged on Nik’s arm. “Sweetheart, let it go. Tomorrow is another day.”

“No.”

“Fine. I’m going to bed, too. Don’t wake me up.”

Softening, Nik said, “Okay. Good night, Jord. Love you.”

“I love you, too, dumbass,” Jord said fondly. Turning to Damen, he said, “Don’t hurt each other, okay?”

Nik had already moved on and was facing Damen. Too drunk to focus anywhere else, Damen let himself get wrapped up in the flood of emotions he was battling, turning them all on Nik. There was a sigh from his right, likely Jord, and then Nik said, “So I used my brain and I still think you’re not using yours. Or, at least, it switched places with your dick.”

“Do you really think he’d fuck me? Really? I’m sure that’s the last thing on his mind.”

“When has that mattered to you?”

“Dare,” Damen said flatly.

“Oh, you know what my dare is, buddy. Go. Give it a shot. Get shot down and your balls cut off. I’ll be happy to laugh at you and say I told you so.”

“Fine,” Damen said. “Got a pick up line preference?”

“Use all your best techniques. Really give it to him.”

“Fine.”

Standing, only swaying slightly, Damen stopped out of the kitchen and towards Laurent’s room, cursing Nik the entire way. This was so stupid. The whole thing. But if this was what Nik needed to move on, then that was what he would do.

Of course he was going to get shot down and he was going to be fine with it. Because it wasn’t something he wanted. Not at all.

When he reached Laurent’s door, he banged on it with a fist.

Within seconds, the door was open, Laurent wide awake. Something in Damen’s chest unwound and he tried not to think about it. If Laurent wasn’t sleeping it wasn’t his problem. Besides, it was basic human decency to give a shit if someone was having trouble existing and doing normal human things.

“You’re drunk,” Laurent observed.

“Only a little.”

“Leave, please. I’d rather not have this conversation.”

“I’ve been dared and I’m going to follow through so just shut up and let’s get this over with.”

Raising an eyebrow, Laurent said, “Do you require consent to follow through on your dare?” The insinuation was clear and Damen was done.

“Why does everyone think I want to have sex with you!” Damen yelled indignantly, bowing his head and breathing a few times, letting the anger flow from his body. It was more difficult with alcohol, a block in his bloodstream, slowing the process.

“Most people do,” Laurent said. “Don’t be ashamed. You’re only normal.”

“Would you be a willing partner?”

“Not in the slightest.”

“Then I don’t want to have sex with you.”

Brow crinkling, Laurent didn’t speak. Drunk as he was, Damen imagined the cogs turning in Laurent’s head. But all Laurent said when he spoke was, “Well, please, do what you have to do. I’d like to go back to bed. We do have a breakfast in the morning. Though, something tells me you’ll be rather hungover and perhaps, uninterested.”

“I can hold my alcohol.”

“Yes, clearly.”

Glaring, Damen stepped closer. Immediately, Laurent took a step back.

Pausing, Damen fell back onto his heels and titled his head. There was something wrong, something that didn’t quite add up and with his brain the way it was, he didn’t know how to reach a conclusion, but his body seemed to understand whatever it was, because he relaxed his body, shifting the energy. Stepping forward again, footsteps light enough to not make a sound, Damen leaned his head down and whispered, “I’ll make you feel so good, you won’t remember why you considered saying no.”

“Your seduction is rather lacking,” Laurent said unconcernedly. “And your breath smells like alcohol. Is there anything else?”

Falling back, Damen shook his head. “No.”

“Fantastic.” Then the door was slammed in his face, the whoosh of air brushing against Damen’s face.

As he walked back to Nik, prepared to tell him exactly what happened and exactly how he felt about it, Damen found himself thinking about Laurent, about all of the cracks that were showing and how desperately he tried to hide them. That man had been through hell. Giving him a chance like this, it was right. It had to be. Nothing quite added up and Damen was too curious to not try, try to understand someday how all the pieces came together.

 

The next morning flared into existence, headache along with it and Damen groaned, finding Nik in bed next to him, going through similar aches and pains.

“I don’t remember you getting into bed with me,” Damen grumbled.

“Me neither. If it’s any consolation, you’re such a good cuddler, I’ve forgiven you.”

“Thanks.”

“Sure,” Nik said, voice scratchy. “Ugh, I need water. Or death. Maybe just death.”

“What the fuck is in that stuff?”

“Nothing good.”

Moaning, Damen rolled back on top of Nik and took comfort in the warmth. Somehow, it eased his headache enough for him to remember he had a breakfast with Laurent. Swearing, he burrowed deeper into Nik and said, “I don’t want to see him. I’m sure I was embarrassing last night.”

“Nah, you’re a good flirt.”

“Thanks, man. That’s nice.”

Tossing an arm around Damen’s shoulder loosely, Nik said, “You’re fucking heavy. I’m gonna suffocate.”

“Sorry.” Shifting, Damen said, “Sorry for a lot of things, actually.”

“Me too. I should’ve just asked instead of assuming. But, you know, he is your type. To the tee.”

“I know,” Damen sighed. “I’ve been trying very hard not to think about it.”

“Cause he sucks?”

“Yeah.”

“You gonna tell me why?”

Sitting up, rubbing his temple free of the spike of pain, Damen stretched his arms above his head and yawned. Looking down at Nik, who had flung his hand over his face dramatically, Damen said, “He’s alone, Nik. He’s alone and fighting to have something. I don’t know what, but I understand that. I fought for this so hard because I had nothing once too. I can’t just… I don’t think he wants to hurt us. I think he just wants to survive and I’d like to help him. To try, anyway. I’m not sure how much help he’ll accept.”

“But why?”

Sighing, Damen said, “I’ve been a lot of places, Nik. So have you. What do you see most?”

“Violence.”

Damen nodded. “The less I see it, the better. I’m certainly not going to perpetuate it unless I have to. He chose us, for some reason. I’m going to respect that.”

“Fine,” Nik said. “I won’t ever like him, but fine.”

Grinning, Damen said, “We’ll see about that.”

“You really need to stop seeing the best in people, especially when best doesn’t exist.”

“I saw it in you.”

“I know,” Nik whispered, the act he maintained with everyone but him and Jord falling away. “And I’m incredibly grateful. Always.”

“I know.”

“Well, shall we get you ready for that breakfast?”

Damen shrugged. “I thought I’d go like this.”

“That isn’t going to get you shit.”

“I don’t want anything from him.”

“Yeah,” Nik said. “I’m sure we’ll see about that, too.”

 

When he arrived in the kitchen, scruffy, the collar of his shirt falling off one his shoulders, he saw Laurent was already there, sitting primly on one of the stools, sipping from a cup and doodling something on a piece of paper. Mussing his hair, Damen took the seat beside Laurent.

Though Laurent didn’t even glance at him, the corner of his mouth quirked up. “I do hope you’re feeling that alcohol.”

“You’re in luck.”

Sitting on top of the counter across from them, Lazar was watching the interaction with thinly veiled glee. Entertainment in the mornings was his favorite. Rolling his eyes, Damen said, “How about some breakfast, cook who I employ?”

“Mm,” Lazar hummed, kicking the shelves underneath him. “Will you let me stay and watch this if I give you food?”

“No.”

“Might be a deal breaker, boss.”

“Fine. Stay. But be prepared to contribute something to conversation.”

Letting out a low breath, Lazar hopped off the counter and prepared both Laurent and Damen a plate of what he’d made. “Can’t say I wanna share anything with either of you. There you go. Want me to wait to tell the others breakfast is ready?”

“Please.”

“You got ten minutes. After that, I’m napping.”

“Do you even know what’s been going on?”

“Nope,” Lazar said, shoving his hands in his pockets. “And I don’t want to. The less I know about how likely it is I am to die, the happier I am.”

As he left, Laurent’s gaze followed him. Then he picked up his fork and dug in. “You know,” he said, after he swallowed, “I quite like that one.”

“He’s an asshole.”

“Yes, but dishonesty doesn’t suit him. It’s refreshing.”

“You like honesty, then?”

“Doesn’t everyone?”

“I don’t know,” Damen said. “If they do, they could try some for themselves, wouldn’t you say?”

Laurent’s eyes met his and Nik’s suspicions crept into his mind. It was hard to deny that the blue of his eyes wasn’t captivating, that his face wasn’t perfectly proportioned, all harsh angles and soft skin. With enough safety and food, he could transform into something heartbreakingly beautiful, like the architectural and sculptural masterpieces of Earth, back when they had been broken beyond repair.

“You wanted to talk,” Laurent said, face unreadable. “So talk.”

“Tell me about your brother.”

“No.”

“That was probably the least invasive conversation starter I have and it would be easier on both of us if you engaged with at least one.”

“Were you and Jokaste ever lovers?”

Snorting, Damen ate some of his breakfast, wondering why he’d expected anything different. Getting to know Laurent was different than getting to know most people. It involved revealing a lot of information about yourself and hoping the questions he asked revealed something about him. Usually, though, they ranged wildly and it was hard to pinpoint why the interest was there.

“We’ve had sex. Once. A long time ago. But, no. We were never lovers.”

“Surely she needed better than the line you gave me last night.”

Smiling, Damen pointed his fork at Laurent. “You’re trying to get a rise out of me. It’s not going to work.”

“You are frustratingly resilient to my efforts, it’s true. Why is that?”

“Maybe I enjoy that it irritates you.”

“No, I don’t think so,” Laurent said.

“What do you think?”

“I think you are not going to learn much today.”

Laughing loudly, Damen spooned up a pile of grush, a better version of oatmeal, and catapulted it straight into Laurent’s face. “Are you sure about that?”

Though there were globs of grush slipping down his face, Laurent appeared unfazed and just as put together as ever. Delicately, he wiped it away with a finger and sucked it into his mouth. “You are a child.”

“Sure am.”

“There are better ways to get information out of me.”

“I’m sure there are,” Damen said, loading up his fork again. “But I think this might work, anyway.”

Staring him down, Laurent eventually said, “My brother’s name is Auguste. I haven’t seen him in five years, so I’m afraid there isn’t much I know about him anymore. He’s probably dead, anyway.”

“You’re still searching, though.”

“Of course,” Laurent whispered. “I can’t be sure he isn’t alive. I need to be sure.”

“So you loved him.”

“He’s the best person I’ve ever known.”

“I have a brother,” Damen said, pleased at the information and happy to contribute his own now. “I haven’t seen him in a long time, either. I’m not looking for him, though. Mostly because he is one of the worst people I know.”

“What did he do?”

“He’s a slaver,” Damen said.

“Unfortunate.”

“Yeah.”

“Is it a family venture? Are you the renegade?”

Damen shook his head. “No. My parents were dead. Before.”

“Before that was the preferred profession of the sons and daughters of the elite?”

“How’d you know?”

Laurent looked him up and down. “Despite appearances, you speak well. You lead well. You pilot well. Those aren’t common traits among the poor. Nor is owning a ship, even a tragically decrepit one. It doesn’t take a genius, Damen.”

“Well, I don’t have much money now.”

“I suspected.”

“I think you just complimented me. Multiple times.”

“Facts are not compliments.”

Smiling, Damen cleaned off his plate, the silence between them comfortable, just the click and clack of utensils on plates. When he finished, he glanced over and saw Laurent looking at him, eyes just as unreadable as always, but something calculating in the curve of his mouth and the arch of his brow. “What?” Damen asked.

Shoving away from the counter, leaving his plate for Damen to clean up, Laurent said, “Next time, I will fight back. I wouldn’t try flinging food the next time you feel the need to bond.”

“Fair enough. Maybe next time, you’ll share willingly.”

“Are you always so willfully optimistic?”

“I try.”

Yet again, Laurent asked him, “How have you survived?” But this time, it wasn’t an incredulous question. It was curious. Damen would’ve sworn even a hint of awe peeked through, but that couldn’t be right.


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did more of the thing! I've been quite distracted by dying constantly in Dark Souls 2, but, you know, by the hundredth time it gets old for a tiny bit.  
> I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. I've been having such a blast writing this, like holy shit. And once I've figured out how to get Laurent to open up, look out.  
> Enjoy! <3

“Would you care to teach me how?”

Snorting, Damen slapped Laurent’s hands away from the controls gently, making sure the sting was minimal. Their breakfast had gone well. There was no reason to jeopardize that now. “Nope. Sorry.”

“So much for trust.”

“Fledgling trust is not what teaching you how to fly my ship is.”

Shrugging nonchalantly, Laurent sat in the pilot’s chair, throwing one leg over the armrest with ease. Leaning his cheek on the tips of his slender fingers he said, “You’ll teach me someday,” arrogance cool in his voice.

“I’d like to believe that.”

“Would you really?”

Nodding absentmindedly, Damen turned to the controls, the radar blipping normally, nothing but some space junk floating around them. Laurent wanted to go to a planet he’d been to before; Kolea. Interestingly, it was in the anti-slavery coalition. Not the first place Damen would’ve thought Laurent would want to go, seeing as he’d been masquerading as a slave only days ago. A part of him wished to ask why Kolea, but he knew the answer would be lacking. He wasn’t good at subtlety, but he was good at respecting privacy and he had to hope that would be enough.

The other interesting thing about Kolea was that it was largely deserted. Once, during the war over slavery, one that, obviously, hadn’t resulted in much lasting change, just planets picking sides, Kolea had been the site of a devastating war. Small sects of people desperate to not abandon their home still resided there, but most had fled, worried about famine.

It was where Damen had met Jokaste. She’d been helping those who stayed fight back slavers who saw easy prey and tried to take advantage, her brain perfect for tactics, especially the underhanded and tricky tactics of guerrilla warfare. How she’d ended up there, he’d never asked.

Behind him, Laurent said, “My brother disappeared from Earth. But, on the rarest of occasions, I can find a trail. He leaves one, you see. Purposefully. He knew I’d come looking for him. The problem is, of course, that space is quite vast and the trail of one person is inconsequential. The last sign I found was over a year ago, but it pointed to Kolea.”

Tamping down on his surprise, Damen said, “So why now? Why not earlier?”

“I’m not typically graced with transportation that lets me choose where to go, for one. For another, I’d rather not follow pieces of a long cold trail. I’d prefer to cut corners, save myself time. I thought I had a lead and so I followed it.”

“The slavers.”

There was a long beat of silence and Damen looked over his shoulder at Laurent, who hadn’t moved an inch, his careless grace changed, more like stone than a river. “What?” Damen asked.

“Those slavers were heading for Earth.”

“But you wouldn’t even set foot there when we went.”

Flashing Damen a small smile, Laurent stood. “When I’m low on options, I revert to masochism. What can I say? And other than the extreme likelihood of my death, Earth is a perfect place for answers.”

“Why?”

“Because I think Auguste figured out what was happening. With the slaves. And I can promise you it upset him.” Looking out the window, eyes distant, Laurent said, “He’s quite a bit like you, actually. He doesn’t have a strong understanding of deception or ulterior motives. I’m sure he confronted entirely the wrong person and got in trouble for it. But I don’t know where you disappear a person who asks questions, why you don’t just kill them. I would just kill them.”

“Would you?”

“It’s the smart thing to do.”

“This is a lot of information.”

Laurent turned his attention back to Damen. The way he turned his head was foreign, more like an animal than a human, as though a part of his past had snuck up on him and slipped inside, haunting him. “You are taking me where I asked. It seemed right to explain why Kolea.”

“Did it?”

Laurent laughed softly. “You ask the strangest questions.”

“I do?”

“Yes. They seem childish and obvious, until you’re forced to answer them. And I’ve been forced to answer a number recently.”

Smiling, Damen said, “We’re on course for Kolea. Barring any unforeseen event, we’ll be there in a couple of days and we’ll see what we can see.”

“Find me when we arrive.”

“I might find you before then.”

“Your prerogative,” Laurent said, slipping out of the room, the quiet settling in so quickly, it was like he hadn’t been there at all.

 

Drama was a regular part of Damen’s life and though he wished it wasn’t, he wouldn’t change the work he was doing. Still, somehow, the past couple of days had surpassed the usual and he was taking the respite granted to them by a journey to Kolea as an opportunity for much needed rest.

Currently, he was in bed, scrolling through intergalactic news on his tablet, reading absolutely none of it. Usually, it was filled with all kinds of unpleasantness and it didn’t appear to be any different this time around. Still, most pictures filtered in were of space and Damen, however long he had spent in it, still loved looking at its resplendence in any form, unmatchable anywhere.

There was a knock on the door and he didn’t look up as he told whoever it was to enter. This was part of being captain. There was no rest. Not really. Simply an attempt at it. On the bright side, whoever needed to talk to him typically didn’t mind resting with him.

Nicaise’s head popped around the door and he said, “What are you doing?”

Damen lifted his tablet and waved it around.

Rolling his eyes, Nicaise said, “So, nothing.”

“That was kind of the idea. What about you?”

Nicaise shrugged. “I finished up on a couple projects this morning. The main landing gear shouldn’t do that wobbling thing anymore.”

“You went outside? Please tell me you had someone supervise.”

Nicaise shrugged again.

Sighing, Damen thought about delivering a lecture, but judging by Nicaise’s crossed arms and the determined line of his mouth, not a word of it would penetrate anyway. Instead, he said, “You here about Laurent?”

“No.”

“Oh.”

“Is that a surprise?”

“These days, yeah.”

Smirking, Nicaise strolled over to the bed and crawled over Damen’s legs, getting comfortable against the wall. Snatching Damen’s tablet from his hands, he started to scroll through the news himself. He was actually reading it, too, eyes flicking back and forth intently.

Though Damen stared, Nicaise didn’t falter in his attention. Grabbing his pillow and shoving it up against the wall behind him, Damen punched it into place a couple of times, then leaned back and stretched his arms above his head, yawning as he did.

Not even that got Nicaise to look at him.

“Getting comfortable, aren’t you?” Damen asked casually.

“Don’t make me leave,” Nicaise sneered.

“I wasn’t…”

“Shut up, old man.”

Laughing, Damen kicked Nicaise gently. Side-eyeing him, the corner of Nicaise’s mouth broke character, tilting upwards. “Want some smash?”

Nicaise nodded.

Raising his wrist, Damen spoke into his comm, telling Lazar to bring two mugs of smash and some breakfast and with less grumbling than usual, he agreed. When he showed up, a smile still playing with the muscles in his face, Damen knew something beyond the usual was happening. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing, boss.”

“Uh huh.”

“You’re gonna put a stop to it,” Lazar whined. Putting his hands together, he pouted, bottom lip protruding. “Please, don’t stop it.”

“Tell me. Right now.”

“Laurent and Nik are fighting.”

Rolling his head back, Damen rubbed his eyes, wishing his was the sort of life that slowed down, even for a few moments. “About what?”

“Who cares?” Lazar said with amusement. “It’s hysterical.”

“Try again.”

“Well, I think it started with Laurent sitting on Nik’s stool and it quickly progressed into a full blown ‘why are you even on this ship?’ sort of affair. I love when Nik thinks his particular brand of insanity is gonna get anyone to tell him anything.”

“Thanks for breakfast.”

Lazar nodded and walked out backwards, all pouted lips and overdramatized obeisance.

Blinking slowly, Damen took his time putting himself together, piece by piece, captaincy something natural to him, but not an intrinsic part of who he _was_. Nicaise watched with interest and Damen shot him a small smile, happy that something good had come from Laurent’s presence. This was the sort of breakthrough he’d been trying to manufacture with Nicaise for such a long time. He loved the boy. It was nice to feel like, maybe, Nicaise felt something similar towards him.

“Can I come watch?” Nicaise asked.

“Not you, too.”

Grinning, Nicaise said, “I bet Laurent is tearing him to _shreds_.”

Rolling his eyes, Damen downed his smash in one gulp and wiped his mouth afterward. He stood, stretching, and pulled on a pair of pants. Reaching over, he ruffled Nicaise’s hair. “Your life, kid. Do whatever you want. Ideally, at my word, there won’t be much to see.”

“It’s good to be optimistic, old man.”

“Why is that my nickname now?”

Cackling, Nicaise ran out of the room. Chuckling under his breath, Damen followed. Already, Nicaise was well down the hall, practically around the bend. As he disappeared, Nicaise shouted, “Because you hate it!”

 

Arriving in the kitchen, Damen was greeted with a sight that didn’t surprise him in the slightest. Nik was making a rude gesture in Laurent’s direction, every part of him bristling, and Laurent was lazing on Nik’s stool, smiling angelically. With a sinuous, careless motion, he flipped Nik off right back.

Laurent was the first to notice Damen and with a wink, he waggled his fingers at Damen, the wave infuriating enough that Damen almost sided with Nik right there. Sternly, he pointed a finger at Laurent. “Don’t give me that.” Finally, he caught Nik’s eye and he focused on the both of them as he said, “I’ve talked to both of you. It seems obvious to me that this was the kind of shit I didn’t want.”

Nik was about to talk and Damen cut him off. “I don’t care what it’s about. I don’t care who started it. We aren’t five years old. Apologize and sort it out like adults. Because you both are. In case you’d forgotten.”

“Why, of course, captain,” Laurent said, rising from the stool. Crossing to Nik, he held out his hand. “Do forgive me for taking your seat. Once I finish my breakfast, I will give it right back to you. Since we’re both adults here.”

“You’re such a backstabbing, wily asshole.”

“Nik.”

“Damen, come on. I know you weren’t here but you aren’t stupid enough to think this was the kind of thing he was saying before you showed up.”

“Nik.”

“He called me a bumbling fool!”

Lazar burst into laughter, covering his mouth as he attempted to swallow the smash he’d almost spit up.

“Fuck you,” Nik said to Lazar.

The situation was so far out of hand and Damen could see days of this in front of him. Fights about the same exact thing, started over the smallest little infractions. The problem was, he didn’t know who to appeal to. Laurent was a wild card and Nik was far too reactionary to genuinely change his behavior. Damen had no doubt he would try, but Laurent already knew all the right buttons to push. With everyone.

Not entirely sure it would work, Damen let the disappointment he was feeling show on his face. “I’m tired,” he said. “We all know where we stand by now. There’s no need for this. If you don’t get along, fine, but don’t pretend anything is going to change. If I need to lock you two in a room until you’re done, I will. Don’t fucking test me again. Please. We’re family. We have to be. We’ve chosen a life that is hard and unforgiving and the best that we’ve got is each other. Don’t ruin that for me.”

Closing his eyes, Nik sighed and took Laurent’s hand in his, shaking once. Then he left the room, not looking back. Surprisingly, Laurent didn’t say a word, nor did he shoot anyone a triumphant look. He simply returned to the stool he’d abandoned and continued eating his breakfast. Damen was curious if his words had had any effect on Laurent, but it seemed like a waste of time to ask, so he didn’t.

He was about to return to his room, salvage what peace he could, when alarms began to sound, his ship doing it’s job. Not quickly enough, though, Damen thought, as the ship rocked with a blast from an unseen ship.

Without a beat, still dressed in what he’d slept in, Damen sprinted for the front of the ship, not bothering to check in on anyone. They knew the drill. When the alarms sounded, they had their positions and their duties. This was, perhaps, the biggest advantage to having a crew with years of experience.

Slamming into the pilot’s seat, Damen saw five separate red dots on the radar machine, blinking as they moved. Jokaste wasn’t here yet, so all he could do was make himself a difficult target to hit.

“Hold onto something!” he shouted into his comm. There wasn’t time to wait, so he almost immediately shot the ship directly up at a truly uncomfortable angle. Then he evened out and started swerving side to side, heading nowhere but away. Another move like that was risky. He needed Jokaste to be here.

Nik’s voice crackled over the comm, having reached his position. “Shields are at seventy percent, boss. No clue what the fuck kind of weapon they have, but we can’t get hit more than a couple more times.”

Swearing, Damen said, “Jokaste, forget it. We aren’t gonna be able to get a hit on these guys, if that’s the kind of weapons they’ve got. We’re not built for that kind of battle. Instead, I need you to figure out who they are and how the hell we get out of this.”

Jokaste responded quickly. “Not to be unhelpful, but I think we all have a pretty good guess where these ships came from.”

“How did they find us?”

“I don’t know,” Jokaste said. Frustration was obvious in her voice. That was enough to reassure Damen. There was little that could be kept from Jokaste when she was determined and there was nothing that set her off quite like not knowing something.

“Maybe Laurent knows,” Nik said.

“Not right now!” Damen shouted. “Do your fucking job, understand? Keep my shields functioning until I get us out of this.”

“Sorry,” Nik’s voice crackled over the comm.

The door to his cabin slid open and Damen didn’t bother to look behind him to see who it was. There was only one person it could be and besides, he was rather occupied at the moment. Swerving out of the way of an impending shot, wincing as he could feel it glance off their shields, he yelled, “ _Do_ you know how they found us?”

“No.”

“Ideas?”

“A tracking device seems obvious,” Laurent said, sitting down in the chair on the left side of the room, the one where Jokaste usually sat.

“Nicaise, have you noticed a tracking device of any kind?”

“Should I be looking for one?”

“Please.”

“You really want me to leave Nik on his own?”

“Why does everyone suck today?” Nik said.

“I really do,” Damen replied. “Jokaste, update.”

“There’s a peace planet not far from here. Well, far is relative, of course, but…”

“Not now.”

“Of course,” she said, sliding back into professionalism. “I’ll send the coordinates your way. The planet should show up on your radar. If we can reach that before we die and breach the atmosphere, they wouldn’t dare attack, not if they value their lives.”

“Jokaste, if they think…”

“I know,” she replied. “I’m on it.”

Nodding, Damen weaved through more fire, keeping one eye ahead on one eye on the radar. As promised, a yellow dot appeared, indicating the planet they were heading for. Unfortunately, he focused on the direction for a beat too long and by the time he realized one of the enemy ships was far too close, there wasn’t anything he could do. This one was going to hurt.

But then, miraculously, the ship swerved, it’s shot firing wide and Damen quickly realized there was only one possible explanation. Eyeing Laurent out of the corner of his eye, he said, “You realize there isn’t much we can do, right?”

Laurent kept firing, having figured out the commands in the time that Damen had been talking to the others. “I don’t intend to do any damage. There’s more to a weapon than that, you know.”

Damen watched as Laurent’s directionless sniping was making his maneuvering much easier, enough so that he could head in a firm direction. He had no doubt that these ships could take the hits with no trouble, but there appeared to be an instinct in all of the opposing pilots to avoid any damage, any hurt. Laurent, clearly, had counted on that.

Unable to hold back a grin, Damen said, “Keep it up.”

“I like my life as much as you like yours,” Laurent said.

It was a very tense ten minutes, but then Damen could see the planet ahead of them, shining yellow, like a beacon. It wouldn’t be long before they would breach the atmosphere and he could only hope Jokaste had done her job by now or else they would be in even more trouble than they were now.

“Shit!” Damen yelled as they were hit once more, Nik informing him their shields were down to twenty percent.

“That is the problem with having a clear destination,” Laurent said mildly.

“How else am I supposed to get there?”

“Flirtation never hurts, Damen.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“One problem at a time,” Laurent said. “Watch your left.”

Swerving just in time, Damen took the first breath he’d taken since the alarms had sounded as they breached the atmosphere, the view outside his window turning to fire. There was still no word from Jokaste, so all he could do was cross his fingers and pray.

As the fire disappeared and a spread of rocky land appeared before them, Jokaste’s voice sounded over the comm. “We’ve been given permission to land.”

“Thank fuck. You’re amazing.”

She didn’t respond, but Damen could imagine the smile on her face. Looking down at his radar, he saw that the ships had not followed them onto the planet. Jokaste had found the perfect place.

Peace planets were rare and armed to the teeth, making the name a seeming misnomer. But they didn’t tolerate fighting of any kind and stayed out of most wars. They were isolationist to the extreme and Damen wasn’t particularly fond of them, but if you were in a bad scrape, they were your best hope, as long as you received permission to land. If they thought, for even a second, you were bringing trouble to their doorstep, you were brought down.

Somehow, Jokaste had convinced them that the fight wouldn’t carry into their skies, which often, was difficult to do, given that most fights in space were of a more personal nature. This, however, had been different. Still, the number of assumptions that had been made was enough to make Damen feel both lucky and uncomfortable.

Though Damen had never been this to particular planet, he was transferred directions to the nearest hangar. As he headed that direction, he said, “Now, the trick is getting off this planet without being noticed.” Given that he was no longer being shot at, he allowed himself to look over at Laurent, who was leaning back in his chair and picking at his nails. Glancing up at Damen through his pale lashes, he shrugged.

“They’re probably already gone.”

“Really?”

“Bureaucracy. Rarely efficient.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning their loyalty only extends so far,” Laurent said. “Meaning that they’ve gone to find a place where they’ll be welcome and where they can get a drink. They’re counting on us not finding the tracking device and if we do, they’ll just head home and report so to their boss, with little lost on their end. Us discovering the tracking device isn’t implausible and likely something someone has accounted for and that we will have to deal with later.”

“Great,” Damen sighed, slumping back into his chair, setting the ship on autopilot. He should’ve done it earlier, but he’d forgotten the function existed. He often did after something like that, after the life of his ship was in his hands.

“That was impressive flying.”

Lolling his head to the side, Damen grinned. “That was impressive shooting.”

“Not in the slightest,” Laurent said. But, then, he smiled in a way Damen hadn’t seen before. If the scale was between smirk and tender, it was nearer to the center. “I will take credit for sparing us some hurt, however.”

“Thank you.”

“You aren’t going to berate me for overstepping my duties? Most captains would.”

“I’m not most captains. You can come shoot at things anytime.”

“And yet I can’t fly your ship.”

“No.”

The smile on Laurent’s face grew and he shook his head. “You’re so foolish.”

“We’re all alive.”

Nodding, Laurent said, “True.”

“Do you think they know where we’re headed?”

Laurent shook his head. “There are many planets between here and Kolea. There isn’t a reason to worry about that yet.”

“I didn’t…” Damen began softly, then stopped. It wasn’t something he wanted to put into words. There was something suddenly and immediately obvious about the danger he was putting his crew into and he wasn’t sure anymore whether he’d given a single person enough information about the fact. It was one thing to accept that future danger was okay and then to face that danger and realize it would keep coming, no matter what you did.

“We can part ways here,” Laurent said, giving nothing away in his voice or face.

“Do you wish to?”

Standing, Laurent crossed the distance between them and held out his hand. Carefully, Damen accepted it, along with the help from his chair. Though Laurent let go of his hand, he didn’t drop his gaze or step backwards. “No,” he said firmly.

“Why does that sound like ‘not yet’?” Damen whispered.

“There are few promises I can keep.”

“That scares me.”

“As it should.”

Gazing into those blue eyes, Damen tried to find a way into Laurent’s head, squinting, as though looking harder would help him with something that was impossible. But, of course, there was nothing to be done and all Damen could count on was the Laurent he was getting to know, who, however closed off, however difficult and self-serving, was someone who paid back debts, whether they were explicit or implicit, and who, however much resistance was being offered, was already beginning to feel a part of their tiny little family. It would be strange to not have him here.

“I would prefer not to abandon you,” he said, eventually. “What kind of repayment would that be for saving our lives today?”

“I only played a part.”

“Modest.”

“I give credit where credit is due and your entire crew did its part.”

“They did, didn’t they?” Damen said with pride.

Laurent nodded. There was a flicker of emotion in his eye, the first Damen had seen, but it was quickly stifled and Laurent chose that moment to make his escape, no excuses, just the sliding of a door, open and closed.

It was then that Nicaise said through the comm, “I found the tracking device and you’ll never guess where.”

 

When Damen caught up to his crew, they were all gathered in Nik’s room. He was lying on his bed and holding a bottle of cheap alcohol in one hand. Half of it was gone already. Beside him, Jokaste was sanitizing a small blade, head bent over her work. Nicaise was snacking on something and Jord was holding Nik’s other hand, kissing it frequently, seemingly unconscious to the fact that he was doing so.

“Is this because he asked questions about Laurent?” Damen asked.

“Definitely,” Jokaste replied.

“Just get it the fuck out,” Nik said.

“How did you find it?” Damen asked Nicaise.

Finishing his bite and swallowing, Nicaise grinned, clearly feeling particularly clever. It was not common for another member of the crew to discover something before Jokaste. “I’ve been over this ship thousands of times.”

“Because you don’t sleep,” Jokaste mumbled.

“Suck my dick.”

“Hey.”

Shrugging, Nicaise continued. “We didn’t get away from Earth particularly fast so I figured we’d acquired a tracking device somewhere along the way much earlier than now, but I couldn’t find one. When you asked me to look for one, it occurred to me that if someone was smart enough to figure out who was who, they could plant the tracking device somewhere else. Then I remembered that Nikandros had been asking about Laurent by name for, like, ages and it wasn’t a stretch from there. He was the first place I looked. He made it difficult, though.”

“I don’t appreciate being frisked!”

“Where is it?”

“Back of his neck,” Nicaise said. “Not deep. I’m surprised he didn’t notice.”

“I don’t understand. How did they get it inside his body?”

Nicaise’s eyes darkened. “Have enough money and you’ve got access to all kinds of new technology. I don’t think it was difficult. Probably only took a good distraction.”

“Can you get it out safely?” Damen asked Jokaste.

“Of course I can. It won’t even hurt. He’s being a baby.”

“You’re going to cut me open.”

“It’s gonna be okay, babe,” Jord murmured.

Smiling up at Jord, Nik nodded. “I know. I’m not actually scared. You know that, right?”

“I’m scared.”

“Don’t be.”

“Can you turn around Nik? I need access to the back of your neck.”

“Right, sorry.”

“Want something to bite down on?” Damen asked.

“Nah, I’m good.”

Nicaise stood from his spot on the floor and crawled onto the bed beside Jokaste, curiosity alight in his eyes. Carefully, she made a small incision, the only sound of pain from Nik a hissed breath. Pinching it closed, Jokaste said to Nicaise, “Would you like to hand me those tweezers?”

Wordlessly, Nicaise did as he was asked.

As they worked, Damen engaged them all in a conversation about what happened and what the future would look like. This time, he made sure to lay out everything as he saw it, giving everyone an opportunity to bow out, but no one did. Even Nik, who had no fondness for Laurent, simply said, “Well, now I’m pissed off.”

When the tracking device was out of Nik’s neck and destroyed, Nik slamming it with a hammer over and over again, Damen left, heading for the best spot on the ship, needing a reminder of why he did what he did. He was surprised to find Laurent there, curled up in a chair, his legs tucked up underneath him and a mug of something hot balanced on his knee. It was the most relaxed Damen had ever seen him. Comfortable. This wasn’t play-acting like everything else was. This was real.

When Laurent heard footsteps, he moved to rearrange himself, but Damen said, “You can stay. Don’t worry about it.”

Laurent nodded stiffly.

“You can go, too, you know.”

“I’m aware.”

“Another long day, huh?”

“Quite,” Laurent said with a gentle smirk. “How’s Nik?”

“Upset but fine. How are you?”

“Just fine.”

“If you say so.”

“Can I ask you something?”

Damen nodded, looking out the window and seeing nothing but the inside of a hangar, only remembering now that they had landed. Still, the chairs were comfortable.

“How did everyone else come to be here?”

“Well,” Damen began, “Jokaste was on Kolea, helping the anti-slavery cause as best she could, but when we met, she realized I was a better place to utilize her talents. She was the first I picked up. I wanted to rescue slaves ever since Kastor became a slaver, but she was the first to really make that dream a reality. She had some experience, after all. I found Nik next. He was drinking himself away on a planet where he didn’t even speak the language, no translator to be found. The rest is more personal, but I offered him a chance and he took it. Then came Jord, the only one who actively sought me out. Nik and him became fast friends and then lovers. Lazar I just hired, desperate for good food, and well, Nicaise was caught up in something dangerous and I saved his life.”

“Why?”

“He was so young. What was I supposed to do? Someone needed to take care of him and I didn’t see anyone else stepping up to the plate.”

“But why must you step up to the plate?” Laurent asked.

“I don’t know. I just do. You spend enough time up in space and all those existential questions become a lot more relevant. It’s how I justify my existence, I suppose. I don’t know.”

“I don’t know if we’ll find anything on Kolea.”

“I know.”

Nodding, Laurent took a sip from his mug. “Thank you,” he said.

“For what?”

“Everything. For Nicaise. Saving his life when I couldn’t.”

“You love him, don’t you?”

“I don’t know him,” Laurent whispered. “Not like I used to.”

“I’m not sure that matters.”

Sighing, Laurent said, “Maybe not.”

“I’m bugging you, aren’t I?”

Laurent chuckled lightly. “Will that stop you?”

Laughing warmly, Damen said, “Probably not.”

A comfortable silence followed and Damen allowed it to linger, wanting these flickers of vulnerability from Laurent to continue. Despite himself, he was endlessly interested in Laurent and his past and how it all came together and created a person like this.

Maybe, by the time they reached Kolea, he would know just a little bit more.


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im very sleepy. very very sleepy but i do hope you enjoy this chapter. i hope there aren't too many spelling errors. i'll do my best to remember to come back and check.  
> <3333333333  
> lots and lots of love to all of you beautiful angels

Within moments of landing on Kolea, Jokaste dragged Nik and Jord off the ship with most of their relief supplies, leaving Damen in the position of finding a nearby planet that he could resupply at. Not that he was in a position to be rescuing slaves at the moment. It helped when there was somewhere to take them. If it were at all practical to house them on his ship, he would, but it wasn’t. There were simply too many.

Still, if he could even rescue one slave on his travels with Laurent, he’d damn well have something for them to wrap up in.

Nicaise was beside him, in the opposite chair, looking out the window at barren red rock. Ten minutes into staring, he groaned loudly. Damen ignored him, but it only took another minute for Nicaise to do it again. Rolling his eyes, Damen set down his tablet and said, “What?”

“I’m bored.”

“Go outside, then.”

“There’s nothing out there.”

“You don’t know that,” Damen said mildly, returning to his work.

“Do to.”

“Fine. Have it your way.”

“Where’s Laurent?”

Damen shrugged.

Poking him in the shoulder, Nicaise said, “I know you know. You watch him more than he watches you.”

Humming in acknowledgement, Damen started reading about a planet that sounded promising and it wasn’t too far from here. Nothing too dangerous to pass through on the way there, either. No stars close to supernova.

“I hate you.”

“Sure.”

“Damen,” Nicaise whined.

Biting down on his lip to keep from smiling, Damen turned his tablet off. If it was conversation Nicaise was looking for, it was conversation he was going to get. “How are you and Laurent getting on, anyway?”

Nicaise shrugged, the motion far too forced to be casual. “Fine, I guess. He won’t talk to me.”

“Really?”

“Whatever. It’s not like I want to talk to him, anyway.”

“I think he’s probably just scared.”

Nicaise laughed. “Laurent? Scared? You’re stupid.”

“I forget how young you are sometimes.”

“Fuck you.”

Laughing, Damen smiled at Nicaise’s frowning face and said, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said it like that. I just meant that it shouldn’t have surprised me that you don’t see Laurent the same way I see him. Age makes a difference in that, I think.”

“I know him better.”

“I’m not saying you don’t. I’m just saying you know him differently.”

“Well, you’re still stupid. Why would he be scared of me?”

Pausing, Damen realized he didn’t know how to explain it to Nicaise. Mostly because he didn’t quite understand it himself. The way in which Laurent closed himself off from the world wasn’t a way of life that Damen had much experience with. For him, it was best to keep everything simple. He felt what he felt, said what he said, and did what he did and didn’t think much of any of it. As with Laurent’s intentions and way of talking, Damen suspected he thought in a similar way, doubling back and questioning and checking twice. Superficially, Damen could see how that would complicate almost anything, especially interpersonal feelings.

So he decided on, “I don’t know.”

“Cool. Throw a boring answer on top of a boring day.”

“I’m doing my best, kid.”

“Well, it sucks.”

“Love you, too.”

Nicaise stuck out his tongue and harrumphed, crossing his arms over his chest. “You still didn’t tell me where Laurent is, you know.”

“He’s packing.”

“I _knew_ you knew. Packing for what?”

“To search for his brother, presumably. I don’t actually know. We didn’t talk long.”

At that, Nicaise sat up. “That could be interesting.”

“Good luck getting him to let you go.”

“You underestimate me.”

“Probably. Does that mean you’re finally leaving me alone?”

“Yep,” Nicaise said, standing.

Returning to his tablet, Damen began to write some notes down in the margin with a stylus. He looked up when he realized he hadn’t heard Nicaise walking away. There was something strange happening on his face and Damen’s heart beat faster as adrenaline climbed, his only thought being that there was something physically wrong with Nicaise. “Nicaise?” he said, halfway standing. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s stupid.”

“Not if you’re hurt.”

Shaking his head, Nicaise said, “I’m fine. Never mind.”

“Okay.”

It was a moment before Nicaise ran away, but run he did. Damen sat back down, research project deserted. All he seemed to be able to focus on was unraveling Nicaise’s behavior, whether or not he was actually capable of doing so.

 

When Nicaise returned, it was with Laurent in tow, mouth in a thin line. Raising his eyebrows at Laurent, Damen almost laughed as the line only grew sharper. Turning his attention to Nicaise, he said, “Still bored?”

“Maybe not. We need the shuttle.”

“What for?”

“You know what for.”

“I gotta ask,” Damen shrugged. “But, yeah, that’s fine. Don’t crash it or anything. Please let Laurent pilot.”

“But…”

“No, kid.”

“That’s not fair.”

“Too bad.” When Nicaise pouted, Damen sighed. “How about this? I’ll start teaching you how to fly it in my spare time. When I think you’re good enough, it won’t be a problem.”

“Can Laurent even pilot?”

“That’s a good question, actually. Laurent?”

“Adequately.”

Eyeing him, Damen said, “Is that honest or are you just saying that so I won’t come with you?”

“If it’s a lie, then so is this: adequate is an accurate representation of my flying abilities.”

Shrugging, Damen looked at Nicaise. “How’d you get him to let you go?”

“I asked.”

Suspicious enough, Damen rose from his chair and stretched his arms above his head. “Guess I’ll have to come. Just to supervise.” The blue of Laurent’s eyes grew icy and Damen put his hands up. “I won’t get involved. Promise. But I gotta make sure my shuttle makes it back in one piece. It cost me a fair amount of money and I don’t want to replace it.”

“What if I promised to replace it for you?” Laurent asked.

“Unfortunately, I’m not interested in owning a stolen shuttle.”

“I’m not sure that’s a fair assumption.”

“You have money?”

“Some.”

“Some isn’t enough.”

“That assumes I would need money to conduct the transaction.”

“I don’t know what to say to that,” Damen said, trying to imagine a scenario where someone would simply give Laurent an expensive and non-monetarily valuable piece of technology.

“This isn’t exactly what I had in mind,” Laurent mumbled.

“Felt like just running off with my shuttle and never coming back?”

“Yes, Damen. As always, you’ve uncovered my cunning plan with nothing but that sharp intellect of yours. Congratulations. Would you like to fly a celebratory loop in that shuttle of yours? If you let me fly it for you, you might even see fireworks.”

“Fireworks?”

Nicaise used his hands to demonstrate two ships flying at each other, colliding, then coming apart, his fingers spread wide. “Boom.”

Crossing his arms over his chest, Damen glanced between the two of them. Even if they crashed, there was a strong chance Nicaise could repair the damage and there was something in the way Laurent was standing, like a sentinel, that made Damen wary. He liked Laurent, meaning he had an invested interest in not pushing too far. From what Damen could tell, Laurent was a tiny shove away from snapping and whatever was revealed when he did would be strong, unwavering, and unkind. Walking up to Laurent, he said, “I just want to make sure the two of you are safe. Am I infringing on your privacy?”

“By all means, come find out.”

“I’m serious, Laurent. If I am, that’s okay. Just be careful. This is terrain you haven’t flown in before and that’s always dangerous, even for seasoned pilots like me.”

“I prefer to work alone.”

“I know.”

“That’s my answer.”

Nodding, Damen crashed back into his chair, submitting himself to hours of worrying. “Comm if you need anything,” he said. Maybe Nik, Jokaste, and Jord would be back soon and distract him with a game.

Neither Laurent nor Nicaise said anything when they left.

 

Jokaste was reshuffling a deck of cards she’d made painstakingly by hand, just so she could crush them all at poker regularly, when Nicaise slipped inside Jokaste’s room and plucked a pillow from her bed. Throwing it beside Damen, he sat down and declared, no prompting necessary, “If you see Laurent, I would turn around and walk the other way. If you value your life, anyway.”

“That’s always my plan,” Nik said, snatching the cards from Jokaste and dealing. When she shot him an offended look, he shrugged. “You were taking too long.”

“You just want to end any conversation about Laurent.”

“So shoot me.”

“I bet Damen still wants to talk about him.”

“Can you not talk about me like I’m not here?” Damen grumbled. When he side-eyed Jokaste, she smiled innocently. He sighed. “Is he alright?”

“We didn’t find anything,” Nicaise said. “Bet you can guess.”

“Nothing?”

Nicaise shook his head.

Beckoning Nicaise over with a finger, Damen had him sit down. Ignoring entirely the game Nik was trying to desperately to get started, he said, “Tell me exactly what you were looking for.”

Holding up his hand, Nicaise started ticking things off with his fingers. “A major city, where most transport goes through. A graveyard or the equivalent and some sort of grave marker, preferably with a name engraved on it, a name that starts with A. Then, apparently, if you find the right marker, coordinates of a sort will be somewhere. I don’t know. Laurent was scant with the details.”

“Is he going back out tomorrow?”

“Of course he is.”

Thinking of this planet’s penchant for death and war, Damen asked with trepidation, “How many graveyards are there within this city’s limits?”

“Three.”

“Fucking hell.”

“Guess we’re living here now,” Nik said, carefully avoiding Damen’s gaze in case he got reprimanded. But Damen’s thoughts were traveling in a similar direction. This was ridiculous. How Laurent had found anything in the first place or anything since was a miracle. Miracles took time. More time than Damen wanted to have.

“We could always leave without him,” Nicaise said. “He expects it, I think.”

“We’re not leaving him,” Damen replied, standing. Looking to Jokaste, he said, “You’re in charge while I’m gone. And while I’m sleeping tonight off. If anything looks fishy, get us the fuck out of here and make sure Laurent is aboard, whether he wants to be or not.”

“Why would anything look fishy?” Jokaste asked.

“I don’t know, but I’m feeling fresh out of luck these days.”

“Where are you going incidentally?”

“Out.”

“Don’t talk to me like a man going through a midlife crisis and thinking of leaving me, his beautiful wife. I want to know where to find you.”

“Where do you think?” Damen asked.

“Oh, Damen,” Jokaste replied, finally understanding. “I don’t think he wants your help and even if he did, this is a big favor. You really need to learn…”

“And this is why I didn’t tell you.”

Jokaste was about to protest, but Nik shoved her hard in the shoulder from across the table. Looking at Damen, he said, “Do what you gotta do, boss. Tell us if there’s anything you need us to do. Don’t do anything stupid.”

Grinning, Damen said, “I’m helping Laurent, you know.”

“I know. I’m trying something.”

“I like it.”

“I know,” Nik replied, reaching out a hand. Clasping it in his, Damen gave Nik a brief hug and then left them to it. As he went back to his room to gather what he would need, he considered telling Laurent, but if Nicaise was telling the truth, which was likely, Damen didn’t want to be stopped. This planet was as good as any, of course, but he got the sense that staying in one place too long was stupid. Everyone else seemed to be less concerned since they’d gotten the tracking device out Nik, but Damen wasn’t stupid. Laurent hadn’t been wrong. Losing a tracking device in the vastness of space was easy and a foreseen event for anyone using one. They weren’t safe. Not ever. Not anymore. And if he had to search for three days without sleep, he would. Whatever gave Laurent enough peace of mind to move on.

 

Taking a sip of water from his skein, Damen moved to the next grave marker, this one made of shiny black stone and searched every inch of it. Finding nothing, he moved to the next. And the next and the next and the next.

They seemed to be never ending. Damen’s back was sore from all the bending down and despite the chill of the night, he was sweating profusely. This planet was particularly humid and he knew that once he ran out of water, there was nothing he could do but turn back. Dehydration was a real concern in atmospheres like this.

Hundreds of markers later, Kolea’s sun began to rise, bathing the red earth in shades of sepia. Rubbing his eyes, Damen yawned and started trooping back to his ship. Nothing. But Laurent would be out searching today and he would be out again tonight and, eventually, surely, they would find something. They had to. If a single member of his crew started to lose their minds, he would too. That was how he functioned.

No one was up yet when he was back on board and he didn’t bother waking anyone. He went straight to bed, flopped face down on his cot, and fell asleep before he registered anything, including the laces of the shoes trailing off, red dust coating his sheets.

 

Damen stumbled awake late in the afternoon. His ship was humming pleasantly and no one had come to wake him, so things were running smoothly. Running a hand through his hair, he yawned and tugged on a shirt, not bothering with pants as he headed for the kitchen.

Nik passed him going the other way and all he said was, “You’re wearing the boxers with rainbows, you know.”

Looking down, Damen sighed. After Nik’s retreating back, he called, “Everything good?”

Nik raised his thumb in the air.

Reaching the kitchen, he saw that Lazar had left him something to eat. Digging in, he ate in silence. When he was finished, he checked in with everyone else, who all assured him everything was alright, and then he returned to his room and filled out some paperwork that had been waiting for far too long until it was time to head back out for the night. He did so, assuming he would’ve heard something from Nicaise or Laurent if they’d discovered anything.

 

It was three days of this before Damen found what they were all looking for. It was nearing dawn and he was stumbling along, hardly keeping his eyes open, the days of this wearing on him. Blearily, he scanned a marker he’d just tripped over and then bent closer when he saw scratchings at the very bottom, small and barely noticeable.

 

_L_

_7.85.5869.93.87_

_A_

 

Realizing he was entirely unprepared for actually finding it, Damen sat down right where he was and closed his eyes, trying to come up with a plan. He’d left his tablet on the ship, so there was nothing to take a picture with and he didn’t have a pencil and paper and he had no doubt at all that remembering those numbers right now was next to impossible.

He could comm the ship but it was unlikely anyone was up.

Maybe Nicaise. It was worth a shot.

“Kid?”

There was a long crackling silence and then Nicaise’s voice wound its way through. “Damen? You’re awake?”

“Find Laurent for me, would you?”

“Sure. Hang on.”

“Any chance he’s awake?”

Nicaise laughed. “Yeah, he doesn’t really sleep, either.”

“Good. Wait, that sounded bad.”

“You sound tired.”

“Sure am, kid.”

There was some crackling, likely from movement, and then muffled speaking. Damen didn’t even try to listen. It was too much work. But when Laurent spoke, his voice as clear as a fresh morning, Damen perked up, instantly paying attention, almost subconsciously. He tried not to think about what that might mean.

“You found it.”

“I did.”

“I’m on my way.”

“Excellent,” Damen replied, letting his wrist fall back to the ground.

 

Laurent made good time. Damen did fall asleep, but he wasn’t asleep enough to be past waking. When Laurent shook his shoulder, he blinked a couple of times and managed a quick smile. “Hey,” he slurred. “There’s your coord… coordi…ugh too hard of a word. There’s your stuff.” Then it occurred to him it could be anyone’s scramblings. “Please tell me that’s your stuff.”

“Yes. This is what I’ve been looking for.”

“Thank fuck.”

There was some scratching of pen on paper. Listening, Damen fell in and out of consciousness. Time wasn’t something he could comprehend so when Laurent grabbed his arm and helped him to stand, he didn’t know how long it had been since Laurent had arrived.

They didn’t talk as they walked back or as they went to his room or as Laurent helped him remove his shoes and socks and pull the blankets up to his chest. They didn’t talk as Laurent shut off the lights or returned to his room with a glass of water. They didn’t talk as Laurent quietly shut the door behind him and said something to Nicaise about making sure no one woke him up or they’d have Laurent to talk to.

 

When he woke, he licked his lips, mouth dry. There wasn’t much he remembered from the night before, but he was glad for the glass of water. Laurent or Nicaise must’ve left it, because he wouldn’t have had the foresight. Taking a few sips, he comm-ed Jokaste. “How’s my ship?”

“As fine as it was yesterday, Damen. How are you?”

“Quite sleepy but awake.”

“I checked over the paperwork you’ve been doing. It’s quite sloppy. Permission to freshen it up for you?”

“Permission granted,” Damen said, yawning.

“Permission to tell Laurent you’re awake?”

Groaning, Damen said, “Why?”

“He wants to talk to you.”

“Great.”

“I think he wants to thank you.”

“Yeah, I’m sure that’s it.”

Laughing, Jokaste said, “So?”

“Sure, whatever.”

“You’ve got it. Anything else?”

“Tell Nik to come hang out with me when he’s done working for the day.”

“I’m sure Nik will be very obliging.”

Chuckling, Damen fell back into his pillow and closed his eyes once more. It was nice to laze like this, to be warm and comfortable and entirely uninterested in moving. He’d even managed to take his shoes off last night, which was first.

Or had that been Laurent? Damen was almost positive Laurent had been in here at one point.

A knock rang out against his door and Damen sighed, sitting up more fully. When he asked Laurent to come in, the door opened and Laurent stepped in with easy grace, immediately making himself comfortable at the end of Damen’s bed. As expected, he didn’t thank Damen, he just stared at him.

Warily, Damen said, “What?”

“You still look terrible.”

“Thanks. You decidedly don’t.”

Laurent raised an eyebrow and Damen closed his eyes, willing his subconscious back into submission. It was harder like this, when he was in limbo between sleep and wakefulness. This was a conversation better had hours from now, when he could function properly. But Laurent was here now. “I just meant…”

“Yes?” Laurent asked.

“Oh, never mind.”

“You were doing that every night since we landed?”

Damen nodded. “You’re welcome.”

The muscle’s of Laurent’s face turned to stone. Before Damen could comment, Laurent turned his entire face away and took a few measured breaths. When their eyes met once more, the control was back. Once, Damen would’ve assumed that meant Laurent had already moved on, but he was beginning to know better.

He was proven correct in his assumption when Laurent said, “Why?”

“Is there a reason that would satisfy you?”

“Probably not.”

“Then why ask?”

“Because I want to know what you’ll say. It doesn’t matter if I like it or not. The words matter.”

Running a hand over his face, stubble rough against the skin of his palm, Damen said, “I don’t know, Laurent. It’s really not that complicated. There are people after us and I don’t want to be in one place too long. I knew you weren’t going to leave without finding something and I knew that I wasn’t going to leave you. It only made sense to increase the search party.”

“You went at night.”

“Just in case you wouldn’t let me help.”

“Yes,” Laurent said, voice icy. “That’s what I assumed. I’m not sure that was your decision to make.”

“Oh well.”

Frowning, Laurent, after a beat, said, “Thank you.”

“It would mean something if you meant it.”

Shifting on the bed, Laurent said, “I do.”

“Your tone’s got a funny way of demonstrating that.”

“I don’t understand you.”

“Yeah, I know the feeling,” Damen said pointedly.

For a moment, it felt like they were in the middle of a staring contest, but then Laurent looked away, fiddling with something in his hands. It took a moment for Damen to recognize it as a piece of paper. Likely the one Laurent had scribbled the coordinates on.

“Where are we going next?” he asked.

“Alusia.”

“Alright. I’ll set us on course once I can get out of bed. Well, actually, we should stop and get supplies first, before we go, if that’s alright.”

Laurent’s eyes widened slightly. “Of course that’s alright. You’re the captain. We go where you want to go.”

“We, huh?”

Very carefully, Laurent nodded.

“Thought you couldn’t promise me anything.”

“I didn’t think I could, either.”

“What changed?”

“You spent three nights searching deserted graveyards on a war torn planet with more grave markers than actual inhabitants and you did it for me.”

“For you seems…”

“Did you not?” Laurent interrupted. Damen could tell that whatever he said here was what Laurent would believe. The bravado in his voice was faked. How Damen could tell, he didn’t know, but he could. Something deep in his gut told him.

“Yes. I did it for you.”

“Alright then.”

“So, you’re telling me, first real sign of your brother, you’re not going to bolt? You’re gonna come find me first and ask me for help.”

Laurent smirked. “Don’t believe me?”

“Not entirely.”

“Maybe you’re not as idiotic as I thought.” Then Laurent’s smile transformed into a small frown. His mouth opened a number of times, like he was about to speak, but whatever words he’d decided on, he decided against moments later. Finally, he managed, “I would like to think I’d come to you first. It’s what you’re owed for all that you’ve done for me.”

“You don’t owe me a thing, Laurent.”

“I’m afraid that’s not how it works.”

Damen shrugged. “Okay. But I don’t want you to owe me anything. That’s not why I helped.”

“I know,” Laurent whispered. Standing, he gave Damen a once over. “I’ll bring you something to eat, so feel free to lounge for awhile longer.”

“Hey.”

“Yes?”

“Don’t be a stranger.”

Laurent smiled cautiously and came back towards Damen. Taking the glass of water, he pushed it into Damen’s hand and said, “I won’t.”

Their fingers brushed as Damen curled his fingers around the glass. Something jolted low in his stomach and with deliberation, he ignored it.


End file.
